Here's Your E-Hug, Ben!

I've been feeling so sorry for the NFL's Big Ben, I'm sending him this letter.



Dear Ben,

Your year started out on a high, you won the Super Bowl and went to Disney World. It just seems like now you can't catch a break if you threw it yourself. Your accident, appendix and now concussions; my heart goes out to you. You're such a great player, but I think you fell into that Super Bowl curse.

You need to take a long nap, and regroup. It's not your fault though, but still every report I've heard all year has made me say, "Damn!" In the words of my homey MC Hammer, "Don't give up, never quit. Because, you're too legit to quit!"

If it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have none at all. It can only get better for you, homey. I mean look on the bright side, you could have Whine-O (better known as T.O.) cussing you out on the sidelines!

Here's a hug to you Benny, and hopes for a great 2007!

Dia

ANGRY WAL-MART CUSTOMER

This is my warning for any of you who shop at Wal-Mart. It's been years since I shopped at Wal-Mart because I was very turned off at the way they treat their employees, and the stores that I'd frequent looked like a swap meet meets yard sale. The aisles weren't neat and orderly, or they were too small to squeeze a cart through. You'd have 50 people waiting to be serviced and only three open registers.

I decided to give them another chance, and ordered a bedroom set for my children from them. Also, I didn't want to pay for the set directly with cash, so I used my Bill-Me-Later account (who will get this blog mailed to them and also Wal-Mart) to pay for it later. That was a big mistake, I should have just toughed it out at a more reputable store. I'll discuss UPS' role in this mess (and they will also get this blog as well) at a later date.

I get the bed set in a timely manner which was what initally impressed me, and thought that Wal-Mart were stepping up to improve its customer relations. I've been in customer service for the past 12 years, and so I know what good service is. For me to be impressed with Wal-Mart took a lot, because of my reasons for no longer buying my goods from them. However, it went downhill QUICKLY from the time I got the order.

Let me tell you exactly what I ordered. I ordered two mates beds in Honey Oak and the matching chest of drawers for my two sons' room. The beds also have three drawers underneath which along with the chest, makes for excellent storage space. Plus, it's cooler than your "normal" bed with a headboard. The honey oak color matched perfectly with their pea green wall coloring. So, anyway back to my story.

Me and my fiance, put together the chest just fine. So we open the box to one of the beds, and the color is "Pure White", did I mention pure white in my description? Heck no, I said honey oak. I was upset, but thought both of them were "Pure White". WRONG AGAIN! One was white and one was the correct honey oak color I ordered.

I sighed, discussed it with the mister and we both decided we'd send the wrong bed back and get a the correct order. Both invoices said "Honey Oak" so what moron sent me the wrong bed, I have no damn idea! Yes, I'm getting pissed! So, I call Wal-Mart's customer service number, thinking "Well, they'll send out another one and have UPS come pick up this one." Gotdamn, I'm tired of expecting shit from corporations, because the consumers are always screwed in the end. Ask me if I give a shit if Wal-Mart takes offense to this!

Anywho, UPS calls me Columbus Day, Monday to tell me that they are picking up the item between 8am and 7pm; yeah, the eleven hour window sucks majorly. So we leave the box outside with a note as instructed by the computerized voice UPS called me with. We run our errands, come home and the box is still out there. Well, about 715 that night, I hear the UPS truck coming and I looked out the window. I said to my honey, "UPS is here" since the box is so heavy, he was going to help him carry it out to the truck.

We are looking at this bastard sit out on the truck and roll out, not once did he knock on the door or leave a damn note. So, I leave it out on Tuesday and no one came to get it. I call Wal-Mart and the CSR tells me that UPS attempted to pick it up on Monday, I told him that was bullshit! That UPS driver lied and never attempted to pick it up, he sat his lazy ass on that truck and put that he made an attempt when he know good and hell well he did not!

I would make this short, but since I'm sending this to several people; including some news outlets that would probably love to hear how Wal-Mart yet jerks off another customer, I want to make this very accurate.

I come home Tuesday night and there is that damn box, meanwhile my youngest son is sleeping on a mattress with no bed. I call Wal-Mart, explain the situation and let them know I'm very disgruntled with their services. Of course they don't care, but I needed to get that off my chest. They get in contact with UPS who told them to tell me that they'll make a delivery pick up attempt that night. Well, they didn't. I waited up to 11 that night, before I realized they lied to me again.

Wednesday, I call again. Yes, again I got the run around. Here's our customer service works at my job, just so you can know what I was expecting. If the customer made a mistake and wants to "trade" what they received for what they want and the prices are the same; we'll ask them to ship the order back before they received what they want. If we made the mistake, we'll express to them the correct order WHILE the mistake's in transit.

Wal-Mart told me they have to get the order back before they send out another one, and that's not fair because I'm paying for their mistake. The policy is flawed, because my five year old is sleeping on a mattress and not enjoying the luxury of sleeping in a bed like his older brother. It wouldn't matter which one I gave the bed to, it's still unfair of Wal-Mart to have that scam of a return policy.

Back to Wednesday, again, I get the run around; and I get placed on hold while they talk to UPS. I repeat my story of how that lying ass UPS driver didn't attempt to do shit but get paid, I guess they were making sure I was telling the truth. You think I want some crap I didn't order? "I do apologize for your troubles.. . . " Here's what I want you to do: DON'T TALK ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE, SEND OUT MY RIGHT GOTDAMN BED!

UPS calls me Thursday morning to tell me that someone will be out between 10am and 4pm to pick up the order. Guess what's in the hallway when I get home? THAT PAIN IN THE ASS OF A BOX!!!! I immediately get on the phone with Wal-Mart and this time I'm talking to a manager, no offense to the CSR's but I want some answers NOW!

The manager was polite and put me in conference with UPS, and I told them again my story. The same story for the whole week, I'm frustrated and angry. I'm getting the run around and get some bullshit ass "I apologize". The manager tells me that once the box is scanned they'll send out another bed and they won't wait for it to get back. Which is a damn lie because I called Wal-Mart just now and the CSR told me that they have to wait until the package is scanned into WAL-MART's system before I get my correct order.

They lied to me and I don't appreciate that shit at all. So, back to my original reason for not shopping at Wal-Mart and add this mess to it. I'm being punished for their mistake, they sent me the wrong bed and they're acting as if I'm in the wrong.

Now, a week later, my son is still on a mattress and no bed. That manager lied to me, even if he didn't tell me out right; he still lied by omission and now I'm on a warpath over a bed!

I'm sick of it, I want to pay my bill and never shop there again! I'm telling any and everyone with some clout and without, not to ever shop their again! Their service is absolutely terrible and it's unforgiveable.

Please spend the extra money and shop some where else, because as they roll back the prices they roll back the service as well. You get the service you pay for at Wal-Mart.

I NEED AN ASSISTANT. . .STAT!

If I have another training session, I'm going to lose it. In case you don't know, or care to remember; they gave me a new position at work and I have to be trained on it. That's no problem, but tell me why you block out two hours at a time? Do you really think I'm an idiot? Do you think your job's that involved that I can't grasp the concept of what it is you do? How about a resounding "NO, YOU ASS" on both questions!

So, before Avin and TheMakeUpGirl start sending me death threat IM's "post or else" type shit, I'm busy! Not to mention my job's annual meeting is coming up, so I'll have plenty to post about. I'll try to sneak in the Fall Trends Part 2 post before I leave. If not, I'm sure you all will be okay!

So, I apologize in advance for not posting recently and in the very near future!

Fashion Fall Must Have, Part 1

Hey ladies, the weather outside is getting frightful; and what better way to stay toasty and warm? Okay, besides next to a hunk of a man. . .SHOP! That's right, go shopping and do it proud!

In my first of six installments, I'm giving you the low down on the trends for Fall 2006. I do agree that these trends aren't for everyone, and I'm not a die-hard trend follower but if you are, pay close attention.

The Bubble!

No, not the backside of a woman, it's the newest trend for fall. Not a man in a bubble or bubble guns, this particular style "rounds" out at the waist and then follows a tapered form at the bottom. Not my favorite style trend, but I'm sure one of you would love to wear a bubble.

As you can see in this Badgley Mischka outfit, the skirt is poufy around her waist and it tapers off around her kneecaps at the bottom. They are not just exclusive to skirts, dresses and coats are also bubbled this year.

There are several pros to this type of style: one, you can hide your imperfections especially if you experience your most unsexy moments. If you're working on your shape and isn't that confident yet this could be for you. However the con is, it can make you look a tad bit too wide or heavy and if you do have a sexy body you can't see your shape in this type of style.

Of course, not all bubbles are created equal. Bubbles can be small or large, but please don't wear this!

Dress Gorgeous!

Photos courtesy of Style.com

HER CRAZY ASS IS AT IT AGAIN!

I was reading MSNBC online (which is really good reads if you must know), and that damn 'runaway bride' Jennifer Wilbanks is at it again. In case you don't remember, this is the nutjob that faked her own kidnapping days before her lavish wedding to her fiance John Mason and ended up in New Mexico only to say "oops, I lied". After the whole country was looking for her, feeling sorry for her finace; I know I said, "that's a shame, who would take her before her wedding day? poor guy, I know he's devestated." Only to find out this dumb ass lied!

So, what's the latest you ask? Well, she's suing her former fiance for $500,000. $250,000 as her share of a home Mason purchased through the partnership with proceeds from $500,000 received for selling their story to an agent, plus $250,000 in punitive damages for allegedly abusing the power of attorney she granted for him to handle their financial affairs, according to Atlanta television station WAGA, which reported on the lawsuit Monday night. (courtesy of MSNBC.com)

I wouldn't pay her no mind or half a million, I can't believe a judge is actually going to listen to this case. That man suffered wondering what happen to her, then to find out she didn't want to marry him. To find out your fiance doesn't want to marry you is one thing; but to have it newsworthy is so humilating. If I was John I would tell that broad in the words of my homey Jay-Z: "Tell to take that lawsuit and drop it like it's hawwttttt" and crip walk my ass out of court.

Oprah and Gayle's Big Adventure

I've been watching and actually hooked on the Tuesday installments of O and G's quest across the country. It's been so funny to watch Miss Billion Dollar Oprah, sleep in hotels we wouldn't sleep in or would sleep in. She had no idea how us "real world" folk schlep it everyday.

In case you don't watch O, let me get you up to speed. O and her best pal Gayle decided to drive from her house in California to the Tony's in NYC. She wanted to see the country in a Chevrolet, and so it's O and Gayle in the car, with her staff and camera folk in mini vans behind her. She still gets her work outs in, even though she's eating everything that decadant she can get her hands on. Chris, her trainer, who is decadant himself and I want to get my hands on; is just vetoing all her "guilty food" requests, but she eats them anyway.

The first stop was Vegas, and they couldn't find the way to the hotel registration; for some reason they wanted to check in like us commoners. Oprah doesn't like to ride in the car with music, she likes to be with her thoughts. Umm, Oprah Gayle Winfrey, I love being with my thoughts too; and I often drive to work (40 minutes to and fro) with the radio off, however, I can not drive across the country with no music at all. My thoughts can take a break while I get my Jodeci on.

I have two close homey's in Maryland (I have good friends outside of Maryland and didn't want to exclude them) that love to sing. . .TERRIBLY, I might add. I think the reason me and a certain friend (she know who she is) hasn't taking that trip to Cleveland is because she threatened to belt out a Mariah Carey tune for the whole six hours. My other good girlfriend will actually call me at work, singing HORRIBLY!

Gayle is no Crystal Gayle, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket. Bless her heart, I'm a car singing too so I know how it is when that song gets to you and you're really feeling it. I know Oprah wasn't feeling it, and that made it so damn hilarious. To see them just "surprise" people, by just coming to their house to say, "Hi" is so funny. People just start screaming and carrying on.

I know they're the same folk that sit at home and say, "If I ever met Oprah, I wouldn't be jumping up and down screaming like a fool!" Well, needless to say, they reneged on that promise; they hollered like a church revival on a Thursday night. Honestly, I would do the same thing, just be better at playing it off. Okay, so I'm lying!

Could I go across the country with my friends in a car, for days on end? Possibly. Would I want to find out if I could? Not on your life! I love our friendship too much to do that to them. We couldn't make it passed Ohio without trying to put each other out! O and Gayle, I'm sure was tested on their journey; and their friendship I'm sure survived just fine. I, for one, don't have the patience to do something like that.

It's funny to watch them every Tuesday, like a 4pm sitcom. Thank goodness for TiVo! I'll try to update you next Wednesday what happens next.

Wedding Planning

A lot has changed in the month, almost two since I posted a blog. Well Dia's getting hitched, somebody actually got the net out and caught me. Truth be told, I just got tired of running. So, now the fun begins!

I have two natural sisters (I did pray incessantly to be an only child, but alas it wasn't to be), one is upset that she can't be a Maid of Honor, the other's upset because it's not happening to her. She and her boyfriend has been together about the same amount of time that me and Mr. Dia has been together. So she's needless to say jealous/upset/pissed/whatever about me getting married.

I'm a mother of two boys by two different men (neither one I'm marrying), didn't finish college. I was relegated to the role of family screw up, never would amount to anything; you know shit your folk THINK and sometimes slip up and say. I've been called a slut by my mother before, but that's neither here nor there.

Well, Dia cleaned up her acted and now have someone that wants to marry me (don't cry, he's loony. Avin can tell you, the man can't A-Town stomp worth a damn). So folk are jockeying for position, ATTEMPTING to tell me how to run my shit.

I'll call my jealous sister (before I figured out what her problem was) to tell her about my latest wedding issue and she's like "Well, that's not my problem" and hangs up. The pain in the ass sister told me that if she can't be a maid of honor she's not in my wedding. Fun right? Fucking entertaining!

Well, if you knew me you would know that I don't give a damn. I can't care about other folk issues, just put them at arms length and keep it moving. My PIA sister was like "this isn't your wedding, this is the family wedding." WRONG BITCH, THE FAMILY AIN'T PAYING FOR THIS SHIT!

Sometimes, I want to elope. I don't because it wouldn't be fair, and I want my true homegirls there. The Makeup Girl will be making me even more beautiful than I already am. Avin, WHO SHOULD BE THE MOH has been there keeping me sane; if that's possible.

So, I'm straight! So stay tuned this it going to be like Oprah's and Gayle's Big Adventure and shit.