Thursday, May 31, 2007

Why Must You Make The Kids Beg?

I've been working in Downtown Washington, DC for about 6 years now and on my way home I've seen the same kids beg for money for a mentoring/sports program.

I know, I know. . .Wu-Tang's for the kids, but seriously why are these grown ass men making the kids beg for money? They've been asking for money for the same program for six years (as long as I've been commuting to work) and they haven't made a dime yet? I find that seriously hard to believe!

They are out there RIGHT after school. Which leads me to another question; how can they be a mentoring program if the kids are begging for change after school every day? Is it a weekend mentoring program? I highly doubt it!

How do you know that the men are begging. . .yada yada yada! Because the men are sitting in lawn chairs cooling in the shade, drinking a little lemonade (sorry Doug E. Fresh) on the median while the kids are in the street begging once the light turns red! Drinking water and shit, while the poor boys are holding up that old ass sign asking for change.

I gave them change the first two years of my commute, but then I realized this might be a scam. Do I need to call Chris Hansen? You know Chris Hansen can sniff out a liar like Kim Kardashian for new dick!

I'm not upset about the begging. . .hey if it's legit, then by all means go for it. Still why are the men pimping these young boys to do the job?

All I need is Kat Williams to jump out from behind a tree and start slapping bamas!

Poor kids! Where is Wu-Tang when you need them!? *calling Meth and U-god*

Yes, It's Hot! Does The Air Need To Be On Iceland?!

Okay, so I finally got to watch my channels from 12 on up (long story. . .hating Comcast right now!) and I watched the morning news. It's a code orange day in the nation's capital and it looks like it'll be that way tomorrow as well (I knew I should have gotten my perm on Saturday). . .just freaking great!

Why do they (not my folk) insist on having the air on Iceland today? Don't they realize that women are prone to suffer from Headlight Syndrome? My heater is going on and off like lights in Sunday's thunder storm! I can't have my tater tots standing at full attention; sometimes that shit hurts!

Now, I would hate to work outside, but damn does it have to be so awfully cold in here?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A-Rod's Wife Is Getting A Ring Like 'Nessa

AWWWWW Shucks, A-Rod you dirty little devil you!

He's suppose to be in Toronto with the Yanks for their game against the Blue Jays and what does he do? Take a very lovely curvaceous blond female out to dinner and was seen with said Ms. Curvy-ness at the Four Seasons Hotel, down the way from the Park Hyatt where the Yanks were staying.

They then were seen dining on steak and potatoes at the Harbour Sixty Steakhouse and instead of the after dinner mint; the $252 million dollar Yankee instead took Miss Thing to the Brass Rail to see the naked pole technicians do their thing.

What's the BFD you ask? He wasn't with his wife! *cue suspense music* No, his wife wasn't playing dress up; and no he didn't get hit in the head with a ball (every pun intended) and have a memory lapse. He was doing what men have done since the dawn of time; CHEAT AND GET CAUGHT!

Of course I would never assume that Mr. Rod (yes another pun) was doing the nasty with her, but hey; we are all adults here! And I know that Mrs. Rodriguez should be expecting a 10-carat "Bebe', Lo Siento!" ring shortly.

Yes, Miss Thing knew he was married because he had on his ring and she knew that he didn't belong to her.

Where's Shirley Murdock when you need a quick rendition of "As We Lay"?

To add to the madness. . .the Yanks lost! AGAIN!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Escaping Family Embarrasment

I think I'm going to be able to dodge my family on my wedding day! Why am I happy, you ask? Well, you read and be the judge.

Let me say that I love my family in spite of somethings, no one's perfect and I would be a complete and total fool if I tried to front like I was perfect. So, with that said. . .let me continue.

My dad is my grandmother's only child (VERY LONG STORY) and so all of my aunts and uncles on my dad side are greats and all my cousins are second and third. Got it! Let's move on.

My dad's side can party and bullshit more than a Biggie album. They will actually and literally drink you under the table. . .AND DON'T LET THE SHIT BE FREE! They will show up in droves to drink and eat up all your shit. They may even fight and be loud like drunks do.

My birthday party they embarrassed me to no end. My cousin got drunk at my mother's house and went to the club and danced with every white girl that he could find, then he started yelling all loud. I had to ask my dad to tell him to cut that shit out, of course he came over to me crying and shit. ..then got in his feelings and didn't want to talk to me the rest of the night. BFD, like I give a good gotdamn!

My other cousin got married some years ago, and his father in-law had to cough up another 5 GRAND because they drank up all the liquor at the reception because it was an open bar. We can't have a cash bar because; one it's rude and two our service only requires an open bar.

So, I came up with the idea of cocktail tickets; two drinks is all you get and after that straight soda and water. Then you get to participate in the champagne toast and carry your ass home!

Well, hopefully I won't have to put up with the chicanery! I'm thinking they'll forgo the class and go to my cousin's wedding and let me enjoy my day without the anxiety of them working my damn nerves.

I pray I won't have to deal with people bringing their kids when I pacifically (yes, someone used that in a sentence this morning!) said, "NO KIDS!". And I love kids, but not when they are coming because their parents are too damn lazy and cheap to pay for a meal. Running around all over the damn place, crying and tearing down shit.

My cousins enjoy not disciplining their kids, but love to say "NIQUE NIQUE STOP THAT" while they're smoking cigarettes and drinking Miller Lite!

I love my family to death, but on my day. . .you can go to my cousin's wedding and I won't be the least more offended or disappointed. I'll just fake like it and hope I get a present. Too bad I won't!

Not that I won't get a gift because they won't be able to make my wedding, but I won't get a gift because they are cheap as hell. They'll come eat up your food, drink all your alcohol but won't leave a damn gift at the table.

Well anyway cuzo. . .good luck with that!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Can I Breathe

Hey Folks - Can I NOT Be Busy?

Let's see, it's been a minute since I've blogged. I don't think anyone really cares, but just in case. Hey ya'll!

I finally got out of school for the semester; I passed with a B. I'm doing some training at work, I had a girlfriends weekend with my homeys. I'm pissed American Idol kicked off Melinda and I'm still planning my wedding which is 87 days away.

School was interesting this semester since I was also in the middle stages of planning my upcoming nuptials at the same time, ON TOP OF THE FACT I got a promotion at work in November. The promotion alone didn't give me enough down time to do my school work and at home I was doing wedding stuff and had to squeeze in my school work.

I eventually dropped two classes and passed the other class with a B. I do regret dropping the classes; feeling like a failure, and I know I'm every woman but even I know when to throw in the towel. I'm glad I got the B so it was worth it. I'd rather pass one class than to fail three.

I'm not sure if my homey's know this or not; I HATE SPEAKING IN PUBLIC! First of all I'm too short to stand in front of a class and teach a damn thing, secondly I get nervous speaking in public. Today, I have to test my new training manual with my co-workers which means I have to speak in public.

Did I mention I hate, hate, hate, hate speaking in public. I need some crack because I'm about to go into panic mode in two point three seconds!

I spent this past weekend in Philadelphia with my homegirls. We had a ball, didn't do too much because it's hard to navigate 8 people (especially women) into one direction smoothly. We shopped and ate which was about the extent of it, but we still had a ball nonetheless.

Why is Melinda Doolittle not in the finale on American Idol? Having her voted off was like a cum unfulfilled! You spend the season getting ready to have the big O and only to have AI pull out early! WTF was America thinking?! I hope they do change the voting system because something is terribly flawed.

Dancing With The Stars have the best voting system, I've seen so far. I do think that AI has run its course and will come to an end pretty soon. I've never seen so many pissed off at one season since I started watching it. First you have Stankjaya's non singing ass going as far as he did and now Melinda's not even in the finale.

Blake?! Who thinks Blake is hot?! Jordin's good but I mean damn, it's no finale I'd watch. Thank goodness for Law and Order reruns.

87 days away from my wedding and we're paying down everything we can as early as possible. It's a stressful period, but not that bad. I'm just tired of people asking me "How's the wedding planning going?". It can be a bit annoying to have 50 people a day asking me the same question, that and "Are you nervous yet?".

Seriously people, can you just not talk to me?! How about you try that for the next 75-80 days. I would prefer the silence, than you asking me the same damn question.

So now you're caught up.