Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Lack of Real Talent In Music!

I really have to consider who my friends are, because someone I thought was a friend sent me this YouTube link that's making me reconsider our friendship. She sent me Cassie's performance on 106 & Park, and I must say it was the worst display of talent I've seen since the coming of Ciara!

Please see for yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXPWhzYk4hc


I've been quiet about the state of the music today, because I'm considered an old head (I'm 30 to be) so what I say really wouldn't have any bearings on this crap they call music.

But after watching this performance, I was truly amazed at what these poor children are listening to. I guess if it's a good beat, then to hell with the vocals and that's a damn shame. This chick Cassie needs to do what she can really do, and that's look pretty. She maybe smart, but she wasn't smart enough to realize she has not a damn ounce of talent.

"Well she may have had stage fright" And before you justify that travesty of a performance with that lame ass excuse, let me tell you that EXCUSES ARE REASONS FOR FAILURE! That performance failed miserably. "Well, if you think you can do better, then sing" I'm too much of a realist to understand I wasn't blessed with the gift of singing joyful noises unto the masses. I know what my limitations are, and I do have folk around me to let me know in the event I lose my mind and try to get a record deal.

We won't even discuss what they are actually SINGING about, because that's for another blog. But when did having a pretty face and body constitute having talent? Granted you don't want a mud duck singing his affections toward you, however, I don't want to hear some obviously cute young lady subject herself to this kind of ridicule by murdering a hit!

Why won't these parents teach these kids what real talent is, let them listen to the music we grew up on. I was listening to MJ this morning singing, "You Wanna Be Startin' Something" and 23 years later, that song still rocks.

Yeah yeah, we come from a different generation and all that bullshit but to hear what I heard on YouTube isn't making this music sound better.

"If you don't like it turn it off" Well, fuck you very much Mr. Music Police! I can do whatever I want, and listen to whatever I want.

I do listen to some young people music, but I listen more now to the music I grew up on. I sing along and enjoy it, and I'm getting my boys to enjoy it. I know they like that shit that's on the radio now, but I want them to know music history before they take this poor excuse for entertainment seriously.

Cassie is better off on a runway, Ciara isn't Janet Jackson, and Beyonce is not and I repeat IS NOT TINA TURNER! B, has talent in a way but she's not TINA. She's Tina KNOWLES in about 10 more years, but not TINA TURNER!

Teach these kids about Chaka, Tina Marie, Tina Turner, Anita. . .the list goes on! The Whispers, damn how about Parliment? Cassie, ain't it! Puff need to stop lying to these heifas!

Friday, August 18, 2006

My New Beauty Addiction!

Avin hipped me onto a product, I've heard about it for while but never tried it. It's called Carol's Daughter!

Now, I've never been a fan of "alternative" products with fruits and berries and shit like that, however, I decided to give it a try. Low and behold I like it, I like it! I haven't been able to use all the products yet, but what I've been able to use has made my hair look and feel the way I've wanted it to for as long as I can remember. It's moisturized without being too greasy, it's bouncy and light not heavy and a burden.

When I got my box, I was still wondering if I was going to like it. I saw you can't return the shit, so I prayed that I would like it. Carol's kid must have known that Glinda's daughter would return shit in a heartbeat if she doesn't like it. Not that I agree with the "No Return" policy, but hey; it's their business not mine.

I used Lisa's Elixir and Hair Balm on my hair and let me tell you; before CD, I would have to part my hair, grease the scalp and the hair then curl. The process would weigh my hair down and it was very time consuming. When I put the CD in my hair; a little bit of each in my hair (a little goes a long way, please believe that!) and I didn't have to add anything else, just curled my hair and it was done!

My hair was so soft and silky feeling, I loved it. You can put it in your hair every night (a little drop, and it doesn't matter if you skip a night) before you go to bed, it's not heavy and it doesn't weigh your hair down.

I never talk about any products, but this is a must. I don't think this is for everyone, but if you want my opinion. . .PLEASE TRY IT! You can get the smaller bottles to try before you spend money on the bigger bottles and don't like it.

I also bought some cleanser for my face. I went the Bella Sante spa in Boston and the esthetician told me my face was very dehydrated, so I went to Carol's Daughter and got some products to clean my face. I used Ylang-Ylang & Patchouli Gentle Face Wash to clean my face, to tone my face I used Rosemary and Chamomile toner; to moisturize it I used two drops of the Essential Serum. A little bit goes a long way with these products.

I have very sensitive skin, and when I rave about a product; it's pretty damn amazing. I never advertise any product, but because I've been having eczema flair ups like crazy lately, I decided to try it and so far this feels good on my skin and hair.

I have some shampoos and conditioners to use, so I'll probably blog about that when I have to wash my hair.

I really like it, and it's not for everyone so if you don't like it that's fine!

Thanks Avin for getting me hooked on something! You know your shit!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

REMY MA IS NOT HIP HOP!

I'm watching Emeril last night, and I really like that show and the themes they have at times. So last night, when they had the hip hop show, I wanted to watch it. When he announced his guests, I was totally disgusted. He had Sunny from Hot 97 in NYC, and REMY FUCKING MA!

Why? Why have these white folk think that hip hop looks like Remy Ma? She looked like a hot mess as usual, and she is not hip hop. Who in the hell invited her to the show? Hip hop? She's hip hop? I think not! Why not get a hip hop veteran or someone that matters?

Was she a cheap alternative? They didn't have to pay her in cash, but in colored weaves? I know Sunny's her homey; by the way Sunny can cook her ass off, but I digress. However, Sunny didn't have to invite her to come along! Keep Pepe LePew's third cousin in the house.

I'm glad the Excedrin PM's made me go to sleep, because I would have thrown a shoe at the tv.

Dear Un-Black Americans,

Remy Ma is not how hip hop looks, we don't really know what she looks like outside of the male cousin of RuPaul. Remy Ma is to hip hop what Wendy Williams is to journalism, a fucking travesty.

Thank you,

Hip Hop Management

Monday, August 14, 2006

DOWNTOWN DETROIT!

I went to Michigan to see my girlfriends this weekend, and yes I flew. I was really scared to fly, but I'm always scared to fly. That's a totally different blog all together. So, let me get down to business.

I have a girlfriend in Cleveland and one in the suburbs of Detroit. To make this short, we picked up Cleveland and brought her back with us to the ‘burbs. Miss ‘Burbs, was invited to a 21st birthday party, and it was a club in downtown Detroit.

The three of us are standing in line and “Lil Ron and the Southside Boyz” showed up, and stood behind us in line. We were dressed very lady like, and then I hear “Umm, you have a nice ass.” Now, in any other situation, I would have gotten beside myself and really went off. However, this was downtown Detroit, Michigan, and I really wasn’t in the mood for a shootout.

His half way intelligent homeboy said to him, “You don’t tell her she has a nice ass, you tell her she has nice jeans.” It’s a shame when your friend has to tell you how to talk to a lady, granted he was no smarter, but at least he tried.

I was truly disgusted at the ignorance of the boys in that place. I understand it was a young club, but it was just way too much going on. I’ve never been so disrespected in a public outing, they didn’t touch me but still. Let me go on, it’s turning my breakfast just thinking about it.

So, I finally made it through the gauntlet of boys in that club to sit at the “party” table. This one guy, who was about as high as he was drunk comes to the table. He stands in front of me and say “I need you.” Yes, he actually came to a woman and said, “I need you.” What did you need me to do? Perform a breatalizer test on you? Did you need me to get you a cup so you can pee and we’ll all know what you’ve been smoking? What did you need me to do?

He asked me if he can call me, I said, “No.” This bama actually asked me why, now I have two boys. Granted he didn’t know that, so after he asked me “Why not?” I reverted back to my conversation with my baby boy just a few days ago, and replied the same way “Because I said so.” Just like my baby, he walked away upset. And just like the conversation with my baby boy, I didn’t care.

We couldn’t get out that place fast enough, I was pissed I couldn’t do the “Booty call”. We had more fun at Kickers, and that blog will be coming shortly.

Men, please teach these boys some respect for women. Please let them know that “You have a nice ass” is not a pick up line and neither is “I need you” Also, teach them that 301 is not the zip code for Washington, DC. Yes, I did lie about my age, and I don’t think you’ll read this because you don’t know how to type www!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Fashion War: Jeans!

In my part two of the fashion war, I would like to discuss jeans. Jeans come in all kinds of fits now; skinny, bootcut, low rise and curvy. I would like to discuss each fit listed individually.

Skinny Cut

The skinny jean are a slim fit jean, they're not stretched or have elastic in them. They run extra small, and if you get your size and you're not slim they are too small. Even if you are skinny they're still too small. If you want to get skinny jeans, please try them on; and if they no longer look like they're supposed to then you can't buy them.

How to tell they look skinny? If you don't look slim in the jeans, TAKE THEM OFF NOW!!!! Your big ass don't need to wear them, jean isn't stretchable unless they come with some kind of stretch fabric! SKINNY JEANS AREN'T MEANT TO STRETCH! Only size zero to six can wear them, if you're a very slim size zero to six mind you. If are the size of a watermelon, don't try to squeeze into a straw, that's just wrong!

Bootcut

I actually like bootcut jeans, they give me a little bit more room to play with. So, I can't really say anything about boot cut jeans. However, I must say again that you need to get jeans in your size. If you don't know your size, use the nearest dressing room. Grab the size you THINK you are and two sizes up. If they fit you comfortably, meaning you can sit down or do the hookie pokie then they are okay. If you can see your thong, or any part of your ass. . .they are too small, dust yourself off and try again!

Low Rise

WHO IN THE HELL DESIGNED LOW RISE JEANS, AND WHY AREN'T THEY CASTRATED?!!!

I hate low rise jeans, because no one wears them that can wear them. I've only seen models, the ass less and fat girls wear low rise jeans. I've yet come across someone who actually look nice in low rise jeans. Let me break this down further, the low rise wearers need a talking to.

The Ass Less

Apparently the low rise jeans are designed to give a "lift" to the ass less. Well, I don't think the jeans were created by Whodini or David Copperfield. So, if you're expecting have the jean perform an ass magic trick. . .you can forget about it!

I don't care if they low rise or high rise, if you don't have an ass to begin with; jeans won't make one magically appear! Which begs me to ask this question; if a woman (white) thinks that having a big ass means she's fat, then why wear a jean to give you an ass? Isn't that contradictory?

The Fat Girl

Must I say anything? I think so, so here it is. You can not wear low rise jeans and you have more belly than Santa Clause! You should never want to walk around in public with your belly hanging over your belt buckle. You should feel ashamed and embarassed. Why? Because you're not who the jeans are made for!

So before you put your ho ho down and respond, look at your ho ho and your jeans and then think real carefully about what you're going to say. Everything isn't for everyone, if you don't like this post. . .so what! Skinny Jeans and Low Rise jeans aren't for fat people!

Did I hurt your feelings? You hurt mine everytime I see you looking like that! And before you come up with some witty comeback like "If you don't like it don't look" that's like asking me to walk around in the daytime and not see the sun! If you are visible then I'm going to look!

The Jean Model

I know it's your job to show us the jeans and how they are SUPPOSE to fit, however, I would like to ask you if you could put a disclaimer out. Thank you! It could be a simple disclaimer like "Muffin tops need not order or buy".

Last but not least, my favorite jean in the world!

THE CURVY FIT!

I don't know about you, but i love these jeans. I'm a size 4 or 6 (depending on the cut of the jean) and when I got my first pair from Express, I was in love. They fit so nice around my waist and my hinepots!

In case you haven't heard of curvy jeans, let me explain. They are made for women with hips and a backside, they may or may not stretch so I advise trying them on. I only get my jeans from Express, so I tried on the size 6 and they fit so well. My ass was lifted to new heights and i had room for my thighs and my waist.

Depending on the time of the month, I have little to no muffin topage. I recommend these jeans for the curvy women. I'll explain the difference between curvy and obese another time I don't feel like being bothered.

Anyway, I love them! I can't say enough about them. I'm quite bootylicious (which is my theme song by the way! Thanks B!) and so they accentuate my tail just perfectly. They come in boot cut as well, but not skinny or low rise. I don't look for low rise or skinny because I wear neither.

Here are my suggestions for skinny, bootcut, low rise, curvy jeans. So ladies, please take a good long look in a full length mirror and see if any of these apply to you be for you go shopping.

Skinny wearers are: Slim, mostly stick type, thin framed, small to no build; size zero to size 6 thin width

Low Rise wearers are: Slim to medium frame, stick to slightly curvy, small to medium build, have a flat tummy, not prone to muffin tops (menstrual cycles are excluded); size zero to 6, thin to thick width

Curvy wearers are: Medium to slightly large frame, medium to big thighs, medium to thick waisted, have a nice size backside, prone to muffin tops and need coverage; size 4 to 10, thick width

Please wear your jeans according to your body type, not according to the latest fashion!