STAR JONES, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I've been listening for days about this Star Jones madness and it has to stop. She's been whining harder than a spoiled brat, wanting daddy's benz to go shopping. Get off your soapbox honey, and go eat a cheesesteak!

The View has known for months they were going to fire her, and yet they didn't tell her. Barbara WaWa said that it was to "protect" Star, while she was going through several personal matters. One, being her bariatric surgery and the release of her book. While I can appreciate what WaWa was trying to do, the best thing they should have done was tell her they weren't renewing her contract.

You can't keep a "secret" like that for so long without the other person knowing something is going on. Although, Star should have asked; The View should have had a sit down with her at the time they made the decision not to renew her contract. They dropped the ball with that one, and some backlash will occur.

With all that said, I will say this about Star. Her time has come and gone with The View, she has bored American housewives to death. How much more can they take of her referencing her gay ass husband, or her new outfits? She's borderline Kathy Lee Gifford meets Oprah. She has made such a todo about her personal business, but when it comes to her "weight loss success" she wants to be quiet? BITCH PLEASE!

You went under the knife like Al Roker did, and do you see him cowering under the "it's my personal business?" Nope, he's proud about it, he's helped other not be so ashamed of the procedure.

I'm so tired of Star's "bitch and moan" tiraids, and it's getting on my nerves. Star this, Star that. Who the hell cares? You made your money, so go away and do something else. Isn't there a red carpet you and your Velvet Queen need to be on?

Everyone was wrong in this situation, and I'm not sure if The View's going to survive with Rosie on there. It's only so much yelling and loud talk one can take at 11 in the morning. They added a roster to the hen party. . .I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Star, get over it honey. Playing the vicitm will only take you so far. You have better things to do, like realize your husband's gay! Maybe you should stick around and get advice from Rosie!

Oh, and for you ignorant ass black folk. A black out? For Star? You are seriously tripping! There are more pressing issues than Star Jones, now if you're getting paid let me know! If not, go home, let your child listen to "I Was Getting Some Head" and watch "Tip Drill".

Fashion Mini War: Open toed shoes vs. Inclement Weather

I see it when it’s 40 degrees outside, I believe I saw it during the blizzard of ’96. Now, while we’re in the middle of our own little raining season, I still see them.

Yep, I’m talking about open toed shoes! Why do women wear them and it’s raining buckets of water outside? That’s about as idiotic as an active water fountain in a thunder storm! I see them during the winter for holiday parties, and now while we’re only day three into our seven day raining period (I think this how Seattle must feel) I see crusty, ashy toes.

I just want to know why!

Yes, I know you may say, “It’s 70 degrees outside.” Well, you’re correct it is 70 degrees outside, you win the prize for being smart about the weather! How come you’re not smart enough to know “open toes = wet toes”? Just because it’s hot outside, it’s still wet regardless.

To make it worst, you’re the same folk I see dodging puddles trying not to get your feet wet. Umm. . .you can’t do that today of all days, when dodging puddles is an impossible feat in and of itself.

And if you’re going to have your toes out, GET THEM DONE! Mai Fong can get them polished for you and get the crust off, or get some lotion and try to keep them less ashy! You wonder why your feet look like they’re going to crack and bleed! You have more scales on them than a fat man at a weight loss boot camp!

Jeez, why isn’t common sense, common? You can’t look cute in a pair of shoes that cover your feet up?!

I'm keeping it short, because I know I'll see some dumbass in the winter. Shivering like a scared wet cat, wondering why it's so cold outside! Stop rolling your eyes because I'm talking about you!

Rainy Monday

It’s raining like cats and dogs outside, it’s wetter than a Superhead porn video. It won’t let up, I swear I saw animals walking in two’s and an arc with spinning rims!

So, at work, I’m alone. Let me explain a bit! My one co-worker had already scheduled the day off to go to the doctor’s and to run some other errands, which was no problem. I understand, we all need to go to the doctor; being a woman, you need to get felt on by your doctor’s at least once a year to make sure the belts and hoses are still working.

My other co-worker, who started in April; called out AGAIN, she was off on Friday because she was too scared to drive. So, today she used the weather as an excuse not to come in. “I got turned around, so I went back home” umm. . .hello, you jackass everyone was getting turned around! SO DID I, AND I CAME TO WORK!

I never wanted anyone to get fired in all my days, but I swear, if I can do it I would tell her ass to “hit the road jack”. I mean really, I would fire her myself! I can’t stand that mess with a passion. I have kids, and never use the fact I have kids as an excuse for anything, but she uses it on a regular. She also live at the end of my county in Maryland, and so it is a hump and a half to get to work. HOWEVER, her ass wanted to live down there; she applied for a two bedroom apartment and they said she wasn’t qualified for the two bedroom so they gave her the one. She didn’t want to take it, because she asked for two bedroom!

HELLO!!!!! IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT AND REALLY NEED IT. . .YOU TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET UNTIL YOU CAN GET WHAT YOU WANT!

As you can tell, I’m beyond pissed. I’m going to try and be civil tomorrow, but since I know how I am, I’ll just be quiet. I hate blogging about work issues, but this takes the cake by far.

I haven’t had the chance to take care of any of the work that’s been piling on my desk because of her Tom Foolery, and I’ve been hearing all kinds of people calling my service line.

Someone spent 20 minutes asking me the same questions, and I’ve had a guy snorting in my ear. That nasty wet snort, just beyond gross! I love rainy Mondays, and I love my job. Today, nah! Ask me tomorrow.

I don’t mind doing the work, I actually like it. However, the thought of her sitting at home watching Maury’s weekly “Baby Daddy/I slept with your third cousin” episode, makes my stomach turn with anger. I wish I could be so “undiligent” and “unfaithful” about my job.

I got up at 5:00 and got in the shower around 5:20 – 5:30 and was down here at 7:00, after I dropped my son off. Traffic was a nightmare, but I still made it in. She made no effort to come in to work. She didn’t want to come into work, and using her location as an excuse. Well, that’s not going to work! AND YOU’RE NEW!

I don't want her talking to me, or apologizing to me. I think I would get up and just walk out, because her ignorant ass isn't worth getting fired for. I wish I could call her and fire her over the phone! Man, I would get Donald Trump with it in a heart beat!

If this was any other time, I would cuss her up one side and down the other. I won't hesitate or break a sweat, but because I value my job. I'll just be quiet the whole day tomorrow. I don't know what my boss is going to do, but this is unnacceptable.

What happen to having pride in your job? What happen to doing what it takes to get the job done? Where the hell are those folk? I guess we're all hired, and now I'm dealing with the scrapings of the employment scrap heap!

I swear if my famous saying: Excuses are reasons for failure, weren't true any other time. . .they are true today!

Yes, I'm truly looking forward to the winter! What excuse will she come up with then?

Fashion War I


Over the years, I’ve seen my fair share of fashion atrocities committed against man/womankind! We had the painful brasseries, men with their jock straps and tighty whities. Lest we forget the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, gone are the bobby socks, space suits and Aqua Net. The nineties brought about the advent of hats with holes cut out the top for ponytails, baseball shirts and can we not forget the riding boots?

In the new century, I haven’t seen anything that would suggest we are getting better with the fashion and what we chose to wear. Earlier in this decade, I’ve seen something’s that make me want to write to congress and ask them to employ fashion police in every state of the union. I’m an advocate of being different, setting you apart from everyone else.

I also believe in stepping outside the box, but some folk have never stepped into the box, let alone try to get out of it. We’ve seen in this decade, excess. More excess than in the 80’s; no decade can top the 70’s but I believe that this new century can truly compete with the past fashion disasters.

I’ve seen teeny tiny clothes on big whalelephants (across between a whale and an elephant), knowing full well they should have been arrested by security for buying outfits so small we can see every roll and stretch mark on their big asses! I’ve seen colors on people that do not belong. You can’t be, pardon the phrase, Crunchy Black with hazel contacts in your eyes. You weren’t born that way, it’s not original. I take that back, it is original. . .originally ridiculous!

Now, with the invention of hair in every hue possible, I’ve seen blue braids, hot pink braids. A combination of red, white and blue braids, and I believe that half these chicks can’t even tell you how to spell bicentennial; let alone tell you the history of this country. As long as they are different with a “patriotic” flair thrown in, who cares?

I’ve recently seen the short skirts, the ruffle ones that leave just enough fabric to cover your ass. The kind that you see girls constantly pulling down as if some material is going to, well, materialize! I really hate that skirt, as a fashion mistake, it ranks up there with the two side split skirt only the super obese seem to love wearing. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but on the fashion scale it’s a HELL NO on my list.

What happen to being ladylike? Since when did individuality become collateral damage because you want to wear the latest Sean John outfit? Tell the young men to pull their pants up and stop walking around like they have dookie in their pants.

Since when did self respect become an acceptable fashion casualty because you want to look like Melyssa Ford or 50 cent? 50 cent don’t look like 50 cent all the time, find out how he dresses when he’s just plain old Curtis.

Dressing with respect for yourself, and still looking classy with it is a talent that most young teens don’t wish to have. They think it’s nerdish or “old people-ish” because they are trying to give into peer pressure.

When I was their age, I wanted to wear the riding boots with the leggings and baseball shirt. I wanted to wear whatever Mary J., Salt N Peppa, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston were wearing. It’s only natural, but at some point you have to start figuring out who you want to be.

Now even Mariah’s naked! Toni Braxton, uhh. . .next! Mary got abs of steel and even Oprah isn’t looking all grandma-ish (actually that depends on the occasion)!

My great-grandmother told me back when I was in my black stage, heading into my formative years a hoochie dresser, to have some “mystery” because “men love when a woman doesn’t show all she has. It gives him something to look forward to.”

I’ve tried it the “other” way for a while, and realized that she was right (what grandmother is ever wrong, especially the great ones?) and started dressing with some respect and decorum.

Now, I’ve realized that I can dress classy and be sexy. Sexy isn’t the same as tawdry or chickenhead-ish. Cheap, easy, sleazy and skeezy isn’t the way a young woman should dress.

I swear these parents nowadays don’t teach their children anything. And before you start rolling your eyes and neck, saying “I do teach my child, she don’t know me!” Well, if you are EDUCATING your child, I’m NOT talking to you. If you are letting your child dress like it’s perpetually Halloween, because you too dress like your lights were out during the winter solstice; you can get mad, what are you going to do? Change your thinking?

Nope!

Good parents, responsible parents who are raising their kids to be respectable members of society we sometime forget that the way they dress also play a role in their future. Keep the boys pants up with a belt, find white tees that fit them and not look like rolled up bed sheets. Ladies, compliment YOUR frame with clothing and accessories that will make you stand out from the crowd. Kids, put your best foot forward at all times, if you want to be treated as an individual, don’t look like everyone else!

Oprah vs. Hip hop

Well, there's alot of spectualtion as to whether Ms. Winfrey likes hip hop music or if she doesn't. Now, I don't have billions like O, and let's face it I don't have millions like her either. However, I can't stand TODAY'S hip hop music. I have a new appreciation of the 80's/early 90's hip hop and r&b music, and even though I've honestly gave TODAY'S music a chance; it's not working for me.

I hate it, hate it, hate it. If I like a song from today's music, it has to be more than the standard "EFF THE HOES" "I GOT MONEY, I'LL CAP YOUR ASS". Why can't they talk about something else? They don't have to be all goody tooshoes, but for goodness sakes why are they so limited in what they say?

"Well, if you don't like you can turn off the radio or change the channel" yada yada yada. What about "Self-Destruction" "Paper Thin" "911 Is A Joke" shoot what about "Brooklyn Zoo" and "Now That We've Found Love"? What happen to that music, and why is it relegated to the "old school"?

What's with the bitches and hoes? If Oprah's on her show discussing the marginalization of women, why would she have 50 cent on her show? What can he talk about? If she's trying to help the country track down child molesters and pedophiles, why would she have a rapper on there talking about "effing hoes" and the majority of those listening to the music are young kids?

What sense does that make? I love me some Ludacris, but would you want to spend an hour defending your music to Oprah and the demographics she appeals too? What would you say that would make her feel at least a little more welcoming towards you and your craft? How could you defend your music without being considered a "sell out" to your audience?

On the flip side, she's has Will Smith on her show so what's wrong with Ice Cube? He's done alot more than say "eff the police", he's directed and produced movies and tv shows. She had the cast of "Black/White" on her show, why not the producer?

I won't excuse or agree with any side, because it's not necessarily my place. I would like to point that if Ms. Winfrey will have Will Smith on her show, why not another rapper like Cube or LL Cool J?

Just like if 50 cent and others want to be taken seriously by Oprah, then why not have a valid reason to have an hour of our time. You can't rap on her show, because you'll be bleeped at least 5 times a verse. Have a platform to speak on, something substantial to speak about. Give Oprah a reason for wanting you on her show.

Offer to help her find sex offenders, talk about how you're helping the community. Give something to the audience other than a tour of your latest crib. If your world's empty and shallow, you don't deserve an hour of my time.

Good Afternoon guys! As the day closes for me, I would like to make somethings clear.

As we all know it's graduation season, and there are some folk who should not be valedictorian or allowed to speak in public. My highlight of the week was the graduation I attended on Wednesday, which was good with the exception of some points.

Just because you have a GPA of 5.25 (or whatever the standard is now) does not necessarily mean you are intellectually smart enough to speak in public. I have never seen such a display of wasted time and the resounding "What the hell are you talking about" come from a group of individuals in my life.

Giving shout outs and talking about your busted car, doesn't allow the audience to whom you are speaking to understand the correlation between heading out into the world and the fact you can't open the passenger side door to your old car.

I got the point that you don't want to depend on a ball player to support you, but the delivery doesn't indicate you plan on going far in your life. If you could have only heard what was coming out of this poor child's mouth was astonishing at best, and I surely don't mean that in the best way. Grant it, she's intelligent on paper.. .but what came out her mouth, didn't prove that point.

I'm not sure who or how someone is elected valedictorian or co-valedictorian (in this case, and why not have a salutatorian as done in my day?), but I'm pretty sure that the standards are low for this particular school. And I've seen better, more well spoken students walk across the stage with a 3.85 GPA.

In my opinion, I believe they need a better system than the one that they currently have because it's obvious it's not working. I propose that they take the top ten achieving students in the graduating class, have them submit an essay on whatever topic the school chooses. 1000 words or less, and whatever the best top two essays are, those are the valedictorian and saluatorian for the graduation class.

They also should spend time on public speaking. Allowing them the opportunity to present their essay to their school, as a test to their public speaking skills. Or shoot offer a Toastmasters class. I'm sure that will work.

Just because you're smart and popular shouldn't guarantee you a spot on stage at the graduation! You have to have the whole package, how can this girl go into the work force and talk the way that she did?

Also, I'm truly bothered by the lack of education and decorum that some folk tend to proudly carry around. My tolerance for ignorance was extremely reaching its zenith on Wednesday, and as much as I wanted to say "Please, go educate yourself", I just kept quiet. Why even bother to say anything, if they are to ignorant to understand that they lack the basic "hometraining" to conduct themselves accordingly when they leave the house?

What is the point in even getting upset? What was I more upset about, the lack of intelligence or upset about the fact that they don't seek to do better for themselves then to be what it is they are?

So here are my "Top 10 Graduation No-No's"

10)Don't give shout outs during your valedictorian speech

9) Don't walk across the stage barefoot (yes someone was barefoot!)

8) Don't keep your head down while you're giving your speech

7) Don't wear a wedding dress or a bridesmaid dress as a graduation gown

6) Don't make references to your busted up hooride during your valedictorian speech

5) Don't come late and start screaming "WHERE SHE AT?"

4) Don't smack your lips during your valedictorian speech.

3) While the principal is giving the proclamation that the students met the requirements to graduate don't yell "THAT'S IT! THEY DON'T WALK ACROSS THE STAGE?!" it's obvious they haven't gotten to that part yet!

2) Don't say "WHOO, I KNOW SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET MARRIED TO CHANGE HER LAST NAME" just because you can't pronounce Thomas!

1) When the emcee say ". . .and last but not least, Mr. Kwesi Mfume" don't say "Who? Is he here?!"

Have a happy weekend!