Girls Rule On American Idol!

I watched the boys dreadful performances on AI Tuesday night, and I wasn't really looking forward to hearing the women caterwaul for the next two hours of my life I wouldn't get back, BOY WAS I SURPRISED!

They (some) did an excellent job, and I was truly impressed. Here's the run down and the grade I give them. In order of performance.

Stephanie Edwards, 19, Savannah, Ga.: sang "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore" and she started the show off with a banger! She got on her knees when the song called for, and she blew it out the water. I gave her an A+! She'll be back next week.

Amy Krebs, 22, Federal Way, Wash.: sang "I Can't Make You Love Me" and I hate when people other than the originator (Bonnie Rait) sing this song, and Amy didn't do anything to change my mind about that either. I gave her a D! If she makes it back next week, she needs to do better than that. She has a nice voice, but please know your limits.

Leslie Hunt, 24, Chicago, Ill.: sang "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" and in the words of "In Living Color" Blaine and Antwan "HATED IT!" I gave her an E (not for effort, but for ENOUGH)! Hopefully she won't make it back. What makes it even worse is that she really thought she was singing.

Sabrina Sloan, 27, Studio City, Calif.: sang "I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You)" and it was a really good performance. She took a risk singing Aretha and made it her own. I gave her an B+. She'll be back next week.

Antonella Barba, 20, Point Pleasant, N.J.: sang "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" and it was horrifically dreadful. What she forgot was that only Aerosmith can sing Aerosmith songs, rock songs are only able to be sung by either fellow rockers or the originators themselves. I gave her an D-. If she stays around for next week, it's only because she's pretty.

Jordin Sparks, 17, Glendale, Ariz.: sang "Give Me One Reason To Stay Here" and was really good to. She's the youngest lady on there (17 years old), but she rocked it better than someone a few years older than she is. I gave her a B+. She'll be around next week.

Nicole Tranquillo, 20, Philadelphia, Pa.: she sang "Stay" (both sang by Chaka and Erykah Badu) and it was so awful, it was making my ears bleed! I gave her an F+. I hope she gets sent home.

Haley Scarnato, 24, San Antonio, Texas: sang "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" and only Celine can sing that song. The song is really boring and I think it's meant to be that way, and Haley's voice could not carry that song. I gave her a C-. She'll be back next week, she has talent but need to pick a better song.

Melinda Doolittle, 29, Brentwood, Tenn.: sang "Since You Been Gone" and she really has talent! Not too many people can sing Aretha, but two of the three did an excellent job last night. Doolittle was no exception, she truly owned that stage. I gave her an A+. She will be back next week.

Alaina Alexander, 24, West Hollywood, Calif.: sang "Brass in Pocket (I'm Special)" It was unforgettable, and terrible all the way around. I gave her a C-. If she makes it back next week (and I'm sure she will), she would need to pick a better song.

Gina Glocksen, 22, Naperville, Ill.: sang "All By Myself" and it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't great either. The note she hit was off the mark like target practice. I gave her a C. She would have gotten a low B, but her cockiness wasn't very endearing for me. She needs to take the criticism and learn from it. If she makes it back next week, she needs to pick a better song and learn from her mistakes. Arguing with Simon won't earn you brownie points!

LaKisha Jones, 27, Fort Meade, Md.: sang "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" and she sure is not, because she closed the show the way Stephanie Edwards opened the show with a certified hit! She sang her ass off! I don't even give her a grade because she's in a class by herself. She's not going, and she told us!

The results show is tonight, and in my opinion; they can get rid of all the guys, except for maybe Justin Timberfake (Chris Richardson). Way to go ladies!

Howard K. Stern

It's my time to weigh in on the Anna Nicole Smith (ANS from here out) nightmare that's been playing out from the moment she died from still unknown causes on February 8th.

I watched the court proceedings yesterday, they still don't have her buried yet. Hell, if James Brown is still in his living room watching Cops; it's safe to assume that ANS won't be buried anytime soon.

I've said it all along, ANS was being used even in her death by people she loved and cared for. The only person she could count on was her son Daniel and know I know why. Howard K. Stern (HKS from here out) had a job as a lawyer making $60,000 - $75,000 a year, until he took on ANS as a client. Then he started making $12,000 when they did the AN Show a few years ago, he admitted in court that ANS paid for his clothes, bills, food; whatever he wanted, she paid for it.

He told the court that he didn't "charge her for his law services", but he did not have an active practice after he took her on as a client. Now, instead of working again, he's mooching off his parents. If he was trying not to look like a snake, his testimony in court didn't help him at all.

HKS threw in the "we had a loving relationship" and the judge ripped him a new one. "I didn't ask about that!" is what the judge said. HKS only saving "grace" if he has any is that he didn't take much money from reporters for his story.

ANS mother, on the other hand is very very shady; I've said several times that I can't stand her at all! Now, I see I'm right.

She flew to the Bahamas to have a memorial service for her late grandson Daniel, on his 21st birthday. Which was all fine and good but she took a reporter and her sister in-law, and those pictures ended up in Splash magazine. The reporter paid for her and her sister in-law's trip to the Bahamas. She blamed her sister in-law for the videos of ANS hitting the airwaves and that she [the mother] didn't get any money from them.

The court asked her why she didn't visit Daniel on his 20th birthday, she said that HKS told her that she couldn't see him. ANS was so drugged up that HKS was running the show. The judge told her to cut it out!

ANS was a mother, whether she was a good one or not is up for speculation; however, she was a mother devastated over the lost of her son. Bury her next to her son, and leave her alone.

These two opportunists are truly showing why she acted the way that she did, not that I excuse drug usage and alcoholism; but with a mother like that, I'd drink myself to death too.

DON'T PISS ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT'S RAINING!

I think we all need to read this book by Judge Judy, I'm going to pick it up or order it from Amazon; apparently the title is catchy enough for me to use repeatedly. She didn't actually use the word "piss" the word she used is "pee", same difference.

The point is people lie all the damn time, and mostly it's so freaking unnecessary it's borderline comical. I had this lady call saying she never received an email and decided to have an attitude. "Is someone just not responding to me or are we not getting the email?" I had to kindly let her know the day and time I replied (Outlook does let you know when you've forwarded or replied to an email), and she got quiet.

Next, she tells me that she doesn't know why she "didn't get" the email. "It could have gotten dumped in my quarantine file." NO YOU DELETED THE EMAIL! Why not tell the truth? "Oops, I didn't know what that was or who that was from; can you send it again?"

Any thing's better than trying to lie to me, and wanting me to go out my way to help you cover up your lie. Just be honest.

Why do people insist on lying over the stupidest shit, I'll never know. I can spot bullcrap from a mile away, and on a bad day you might get called on it. She wasn't embezzling from the university just deleted an email; yet she wants to lie.

Bottom line: Saying "oops, my bad" is better than a lie any day. Try it, the next cuss out you save might be your own.

Out: Accepting Responsibility

In: REHAB!

Lately rehab has been the way to go if you have any problem that society thumbs its nose at. Isaiah Washington went to rehab for calling T.J. Knight the f-word, Lindsay Blohan goes to rehab; but she really needed it.

Now the mayor of San Fran is going to rehab for his "alcoholism" problem AFTER the scandal broke of him screwing the wife of his campaign manager. Why is rehab becoming the new black this year? Where is there a rehab for calling someone the f-word? Why didn't they make rehabs for calling people the n-word?

I'm convinced it started with Eric Benet going to rehab for his sexual problems after repeatedly cheating on Halle Berry, and it just snowballed from there. The senator from Florida sending sexual text messagaes and IM's to congressional pages, now he's in rehab for his alcohol problem and he's gay and he was abused; and blah blah blah save me!

Why not just admit to the problem at hand instead of trying to find an excuse? "Oh, I called you a bitch but the truth is I have a crack problem. I'm going to rehab for it though" Save me people, stop finding reasons for shit you do.

Bottom line, you're not dealing with the real issue at hand and using rehab as an excuse.