HI, MY NAME IS MISS USA, AND I'M A COKE HEAD!
I don't think that I'll ever understand "important" people and why they seem to enjoy screwing up a good thing, when the everyday folk like myself can never catch a break. Miss USA, the worst self-esteem contest of the ages seems to turn out the most baffling news stories. We had Vanessa Williams posing naked for playboy, who turned out a mediocre vocal career and now we have Tara Connor drugging, screwing, partying and drinking in NYC.
Her country bumpkin ass never saw the bright lights of NYC and got caught up in the nightlife and don't know how to act. Sneaking boys into her Trump Plaza apartment, kissing Miss Teen USA and just acting a pure fool.
So, I wonder if The Donald's going to say "YOU'RE FIRED" or find some other way to give her the boot. How is he going to find his next wife, if you're acting a fool? Did she not realize that her every moved would be monitored? Did she take a drug test before she tried out for Miss USA, and what made her think she wouldn't take subsequent drug tests?
What does Tara have as a plan B? At least 'Nessa had a side hustle, not a good one but she did pretty well for herself. Tara can't marry rich, because Anna Nicole married Jesus' great-grandfather and he just died finally, Donald hasn't finished with his 8th wife and Bill Gates don't want to part from his money if he divorce Melinda.
The best she can do is be a mistress, or a video dancer. She can do her talk show circuit and take her ass back to the bluegrass state and talk about her wild days in the big city. She had it made, for a year she had a place to stay she didn't have to pay for. She had all the "part-time" fame only a good 15 minutes can bring. She didn't really have to work, but get paid waving and smiling. She had it made, and her dumb ass ruined it. She can't follow directions too well, and just ruined it.
Now, I guess she'll be a teller at a bank or maybe she can take up banjo picking. Whatever they do in Kentucky. OOH, I know! She can work at White Castles! Hey, Tara, can you ship some here, because I have a man who loves that crap.
Anyway, start singing Green Acres, cause good bye city life. You idiot!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
TIME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT!
This will probably be my last blog before the New Years, so let me try and end this right. I'M FAT! Not, "Oooh, girl you got a body" fat, I mean "Please back away from the plate, put the fork down and walk slowly to the gym and nobody gets hurt" fat!
I'm used to eating my weight in food during the holidays, but oh my goodness gracious I feel like Petuna Pig and this must stop. I put on some; okay so I ATTEMPTED to put on some jeans the other day and let's just say my thighs were border patrol and my jeans tried to sneak into the country. . .they immediately got halted and had to turn around and go back into the closet.
Of course as I'm writing this, I'm planning a New Years party with food! I eat on Thanksgiving, my birthday weekend, Christmas and New Years; so needless to say my hips has spread like SARS and there's not a vaccine in sight!
Did I fail to mention I have a wedding dress to fit into? Well I do, so I have from January 1 to August to get it together. I don't want to be a fat bride, I don't want to be fat period!
So, I'm throwing out all my food and I'll be hitting the No White stuff with Avin and possibly The Make Up Girl. I'm sure that I'll NEED to blog to get my mind off food and so I won't be at home snapping at folk.
I feel like "Weird" Al, and I need to be singing "I'm Fat". I don't wanna be skinny like I need a treatment center, but I don't want to look like Aretha Franklin either. I love food, but I don't need to love it that much.
I'm not an emotional eater, well if it's good then I do get emotional about the deliciousness. However, I don't eat when I'm mad or depressed or when I'm happy; unless I'm celebrating. My eating is an equal opportunity process, but when I do eat around the holidays it's alot of food.
We family hop, my mother's, his parents, grandparents, etc. so we're always eating. Holiday parties at work, my birthday. . .just random plates of food.
I try to do all those "tips" for holiday eating, but that shit don't work. Who in their right mind wants to eat an apple unless it has a flaky crust around it with Cool Whip? I do make sure I get my veggies in, and I drink plenty of water. My plates however look like the leaning tower of Pisa, I'm telling you this madness needs to stop.
So, no bread, no pasta, no rice. More water, more rest, more exercise. Time to break out the healthy cookbooks and work this out and off!
I'll keep you posted.
This will probably be my last blog before the New Years, so let me try and end this right. I'M FAT! Not, "Oooh, girl you got a body" fat, I mean "Please back away from the plate, put the fork down and walk slowly to the gym and nobody gets hurt" fat!
I'm used to eating my weight in food during the holidays, but oh my goodness gracious I feel like Petuna Pig and this must stop. I put on some; okay so I ATTEMPTED to put on some jeans the other day and let's just say my thighs were border patrol and my jeans tried to sneak into the country. . .they immediately got halted and had to turn around and go back into the closet.
Of course as I'm writing this, I'm planning a New Years party with food! I eat on Thanksgiving, my birthday weekend, Christmas and New Years; so needless to say my hips has spread like SARS and there's not a vaccine in sight!
Did I fail to mention I have a wedding dress to fit into? Well I do, so I have from January 1 to August to get it together. I don't want to be a fat bride, I don't want to be fat period!
So, I'm throwing out all my food and I'll be hitting the No White stuff with Avin and possibly The Make Up Girl. I'm sure that I'll NEED to blog to get my mind off food and so I won't be at home snapping at folk.
I feel like "Weird" Al, and I need to be singing "I'm Fat". I don't wanna be skinny like I need a treatment center, but I don't want to look like Aretha Franklin either. I love food, but I don't need to love it that much.
I'm not an emotional eater, well if it's good then I do get emotional about the deliciousness. However, I don't eat when I'm mad or depressed or when I'm happy; unless I'm celebrating. My eating is an equal opportunity process, but when I do eat around the holidays it's alot of food.
We family hop, my mother's, his parents, grandparents, etc. so we're always eating. Holiday parties at work, my birthday. . .just random plates of food.
I try to do all those "tips" for holiday eating, but that shit don't work. Who in their right mind wants to eat an apple unless it has a flaky crust around it with Cool Whip? I do make sure I get my veggies in, and I drink plenty of water. My plates however look like the leaning tower of Pisa, I'm telling you this madness needs to stop.
So, no bread, no pasta, no rice. More water, more rest, more exercise. Time to break out the healthy cookbooks and work this out and off!
I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Billboard Awards
I watched that travesty of a music award show last night and was extremely disappointed. They had random ass talking, and what I think was a 10 second delay, why? Because 7 seconds wasn't long enough, and leave it to the rappers on stage instead of saying "And the nominees are. . .", they start talking about screwing the chicks from "The Girls Next Door", it's really bad when Chingy say "What are we talking about?" We won't discuss Flava Flav!
Gwen please stop singing that damn yodeling song, it's positively dreadful (yes, I got it from Simon). Pharrell needs to be arrested for a noise violation for that mess. I'm glad that Beyonce wasn't rolling around on the floor or singing her nursery rhyme, in fact she wasn't even there. T.I. if you're going to continue to hang out with Tiny from the defunct singing group Xscape, please let her see a dentist, because her grill isn't sexy. Maybe to you, but you're from the south so nevermind.
Mary, as much as I can and do appreciate your music, I have one thing to say. STOP THE FUCKING SCREAMING! It turns into a scream feast everytime she gets a microphone, and it's getting to the point you can tell when it's coming. Geez, the speakers on my tv are on the verge of going out everytime she starts screaming.
Why didn't they have anyone more interesting perform? The only performance of the night was Luda and the gang, and although he's a good rapper (and not bad to look at, hush Avin!) I would have liked to have seen more acts perform. Not just rappers or r&b singers but someone else.
So I'm wondering if they are taking the Billboard awards seriously anymore. Based on last night, I wouldn't either.
IN BABY NEWS
Madonna is at again, she's trying to adopt another baby from Malawi. I'm not sure if I blogged what I felt about the first adoption, but here you go.
Dear Madonna,
I understand that you're again trying to adopt a baby from Malawi, and that now Guy Ritchie has decided to borrow some nuts and put his foot down. Not that you'll listen but it's the effort that counts. I would like you to step away from this one, and just go and raise your other kids.
The Malawi government doesn't want you taking their children back to your castle, leave them alone. Work on your marriage because Guy's not happy right now, between baby snatching and your Kabbalah; it's taking a toll on the poor man. I don't think you want to lose him, remember the last man you had Carlos Leon and where's he now? Playing a drunk on all 42 Law and Orders.
I'm not sure what you're trying to prove by adopting babies from poor countries, unless you're trying to out do Angelina and Brad. Honey, give it up, to be honest they're a more likeable couple than you are alone in your quest to rescue poor babies from African countries. They've already got this thing on lock, so you can't be a copy cat that's not a good look for 2007.
If you really wanna follow their footsteps you would at least have an affair with a handsome male married actor, and pretend to NOT be a couple and then have his baby. At least you'll be villified but since he's cute you can get a pass.
Honestly M, you should just let it go. I mean if you really want to adopt poor black babies, go to Compton or NYC. . shoot go down to Tuscaloosa and get you a baby. At least heed my advice and be your own woman, not Angelina.
Sincerely,
Copy Cat Management
I watched that travesty of a music award show last night and was extremely disappointed. They had random ass talking, and what I think was a 10 second delay, why? Because 7 seconds wasn't long enough, and leave it to the rappers on stage instead of saying "And the nominees are. . .", they start talking about screwing the chicks from "The Girls Next Door", it's really bad when Chingy say "What are we talking about?" We won't discuss Flava Flav!
Gwen please stop singing that damn yodeling song, it's positively dreadful (yes, I got it from Simon). Pharrell needs to be arrested for a noise violation for that mess. I'm glad that Beyonce wasn't rolling around on the floor or singing her nursery rhyme, in fact she wasn't even there. T.I. if you're going to continue to hang out with Tiny from the defunct singing group Xscape, please let her see a dentist, because her grill isn't sexy. Maybe to you, but you're from the south so nevermind.
Mary, as much as I can and do appreciate your music, I have one thing to say. STOP THE FUCKING SCREAMING! It turns into a scream feast everytime she gets a microphone, and it's getting to the point you can tell when it's coming. Geez, the speakers on my tv are on the verge of going out everytime she starts screaming.
Why didn't they have anyone more interesting perform? The only performance of the night was Luda and the gang, and although he's a good rapper (and not bad to look at, hush Avin!) I would have liked to have seen more acts perform. Not just rappers or r&b singers but someone else.
So I'm wondering if they are taking the Billboard awards seriously anymore. Based on last night, I wouldn't either.
IN BABY NEWS
Madonna is at again, she's trying to adopt another baby from Malawi. I'm not sure if I blogged what I felt about the first adoption, but here you go.
Dear Madonna,
I understand that you're again trying to adopt a baby from Malawi, and that now Guy Ritchie has decided to borrow some nuts and put his foot down. Not that you'll listen but it's the effort that counts. I would like you to step away from this one, and just go and raise your other kids.
The Malawi government doesn't want you taking their children back to your castle, leave them alone. Work on your marriage because Guy's not happy right now, between baby snatching and your Kabbalah; it's taking a toll on the poor man. I don't think you want to lose him, remember the last man you had Carlos Leon and where's he now? Playing a drunk on all 42 Law and Orders.
I'm not sure what you're trying to prove by adopting babies from poor countries, unless you're trying to out do Angelina and Brad. Honey, give it up, to be honest they're a more likeable couple than you are alone in your quest to rescue poor babies from African countries. They've already got this thing on lock, so you can't be a copy cat that's not a good look for 2007.
If you really wanna follow their footsteps you would at least have an affair with a handsome male married actor, and pretend to NOT be a couple and then have his baby. At least you'll be villified but since he's cute you can get a pass.
Honestly M, you should just let it go. I mean if you really want to adopt poor black babies, go to Compton or NYC. . shoot go down to Tuscaloosa and get you a baby. At least heed my advice and be your own woman, not Angelina.
Sincerely,
Copy Cat Management
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