Día brillante

I'M BACK AND MARRIED!

2007-08-28T13:56:00.000-04:00

Hey ya'll, I'm back and in the flesh. Only one or two people care enough so I'm talking to them; so hey Avin and The Make Up Girl! Missed you while I was gone.

I read Avin's blog and I refuse to cry *cues Mary J. Blige* but it was so touching and moving. My wedding was a dream, more than I ever imagined. If it wasn't for my coordinator/co-worker I don't know if it would have turned out so beautiful.

Everything seemed to be aligned, from the beautiful weather to the kids behaving; I had the most perfect day imaginable. I hear that rain is a sign of good luck on a wedding day. . .good luck for who? Not after I spent all night getting my hair done! So, I was grateful that the weather was so gorgeous.

I was in the limo watching all the guests come in and then decided to occupy myself by listening to my matron of honor's ipod/phone thingy and all she had on it was some stupid New Edition and Get Me Bodied. So, I spent my final alone time as a single woman doing the Naomi Campbell walk in the limo.

I damn near had a panic attack when my coordinator opened the door of the limo to get me out; it was time to get married. She said, "If you want, we can dip out in the limo and go get drinks. You ready now?" So after a nod, we walked up the steps to the chapel and there I was; my oldest son on my left ready to walk me down to my dad who took me the rest of the way.

I don't remember seeing Avin and the girls crying like they were watching the end of Steel Magnolias; shoot they were crying at the damn wedding rehearsal. The whole ceremony was so nice and touching; so romantic and all that good stuff.

Mr. D said vows to my boys while he gave them necklaces and apparently everyone just fell out crying. Why didn't I cry you ask?!? (1) The Make Up girl would have stopped the ceremony to fix my make up (2) It wasn't needed everyone else was crying like they were at Luther's funeral!

The reception was so wonderful and I just hope everyone had a good time. I danced myself into a leg cramp that lasted for two days. I dropped it, brought it back up and dipped it some more. I got my eagle on, dropped it like it was hot. . .hazy hot and humid more like it!

We were so tired, we didn't consummate anything but some sleep! We had a nice room at the Marriott in downtown DC, but all I wanted to do was scrub my face and go to sleep!

I had a blast at my wedding, none of the children there cried, no one got loud or anything embarrassing. I did have someone act like a pure dee bitch. I'll be blogging about that in a few.

With that aside. . .it was the best wedding I've ever been to, even it was my own!

An Announcement From Dia

2007-07-11T08:25:00.000-04:00

I have a formal announcement to make!

CALLING ME A BITCH ISN'T INSULTING!

Yesterday, I was driving home from work and if you know me, you would know that there's a lot of shit I don't tolerate while driving. So this lady wanted to wait until the last minute to get over and of course that meant getting over in front of me, after I waited in traffic for 30 minutes or so because of the slow ass drivers.

Of course letting her over wasn't an option, so she pulled up next to me to say: "Thank you Bitch!" So of course I responded with: "OH MY LAWD, CALL IMUS CALL AL SHARPTON SHE CALLED ME A BITCH MY FEELINGS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED. Honey, I was called a bitch three days ago. . .find another word to use. Thank you dumb ass and have a wonderful day."

I would like to say that calling me a bitch isn't insulting and I would like people to use another more convincing word. I get called a bitch at least several times a week, so some driver calling me that is nothing new.

I'm not calling for a moratorium on the word or anything, I'm just calling for our smart mouths to find something more creative.

That's it. Thanks.

MTB Monday Night Recap

2007-06-27T08:10:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it's Wednesday. So quit bitching and read.

The show starts with Michael Bivins coming to the house to explain the "rules" of the competition to the men and how the house will not have any sorts of drama whatsoever. I guess Mr. Bad Boy doesn't want to shut the studio down again.

Mike also explained to them that they are competing agains each other however they are all in this together. Umm. . .this made not a bit of damn sense! Let me proceed.

Diddy wants to keep the boys fit and fabulous on stage; I guess looking like Ricky Ross and Fat Joe is out in 2007. They took the boys to NYCSC (NYC Sports Club) and they met with a personal trainer and they got weighed in.

Michael the heavier of the crew weighed in at a whopping 287 pounds! So she had them doing some Celebrity Fit Club type shit until Dyshon damn near passed out. He was dehydrated and had dangerously low blood pressure. Umm. . .Diddy they are all out of shape start them off slowly. With the exception of Dan who lost 16 pounds after the first audition.

Next they met with BOOM BOOM KAT Gibson dressed like she was auditioning for the Pussycat Dolls/Simple Life! She had them doing African inspired dances and BALLET! I do believe that was for comedic purposes because I was dying laughing!

Diddy shows up and meet with the fellas, in his one of many surprise visits. He had them do a "Hi, My Name is" session and they explained why they were there. All of them were sincere and really seemed like they wanted it. Diddy, I hope got to know them a little better.

Next Didds tell them that they had to form five different singing groups. He told them that they would go around performing at open mic nights and the like, and the groups run the risk of being dwindled down if one or all of the members can't show and prove.

HOWEVER! *cues suspense music* Didds return and asks Michael what he had for breakfast. It's clear these young men didn't watch the previous three MTB's or they would realize their every move is being monitored. Anywho:

Didds asks again "Michael what did you have for breakfast?" Michael looks like the kid that caught kissing his cousin. He aptly said "A grilled cheese" Didds say, "YOU HAD THREE GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES!" Michael said "I had two." all sheepish and shit. Umm. . .Michael when you weigh 287 two grilled cheese sandwiches are just as bad as three.

Diddy made him get on the treadmill and walk five miles. He told Dan to help him since he had no problem losing weight. He told Michael that he has no more chances, and stormed out in a Bad Boy huff.

They picked their own names: Campus Block, Face, Legit, 37th Ave. and Switch. They started practicing their singing and dance routines.

I'm truly concerned about Chris, he can't sing worth a damn but he can dance. Hopefully he can stop telling himself he can't do it and at least try.

Julius reminds me of Fred from MTB 1 and this boy can sing.

Stay tuned

YOU'RE FIRED!

2007-06-25T15:49:00.001-04:00

Dear Tank Johnson,

I heard that you got "let go" from the Chicago Bears because you can't act like a civilized human being. Sucks to be you right now doesn't it? You are in jail for two months, suspended for the first 8 games and now the piece de resistance. . .you are fired from your job.

How loverly! Do they have an unemployment line for criminal NFL Players? What kind of unemployment benefits can you get? I can get you a good reference if you need one.

Seriously though, what team will want you now that you're on Maurice Clarrett status? Next thing we'll hear is that you're holding up a McDonald's for three Big Mac's and two Chicken McNugget Happy Meals. Times is hard!

How many chances do you need to get before you realize you have to get your shit together? We only get put on probation once at my job and after that your ass is fired; you get more leeway than the common man but yet you still fuck up. ROYALLY!

Well Tank, I think that while you're destroying your liver and career; let this be a lesson to you.

Get a damn driver! Please don't let me see you on an episode of Cops!

I think unemployment opens at 9am, good luck with that!

DB

MTB - Season 18451296781.2

2007-06-25T15:38:00.000-04:00

Last night I watched the season premire of Making The Band Season. . .well I stopped counting after they shut down the studio.

It was pretty good, the usual audition openings. Nothing spectaular, outside of the Asian guy; everyone else sound the same. They have a new panel helping Diddy chose the guys for his singing group.

The dream team is comprised of New Edition's Michael Bivins, Grammy-winning producer Bryan Cox, R&B singer Joe, A&R manager Slam, vocal coach Ankh Ra and choreographer Laurie Ann Gibson (BOOM BOOM KAT). (Plus, manager Johnny Wright, singer Mario Winans and others will be lending a hand from time to time.) Thanks MTV.com for that help.

I don't know all the major players yet and I'm sure the drama will be on and popping. When you get a bunch of zesty boys in one house, I'm sure the fur is going to fly. Where's Ms. Jay when you need him/her?

It's bound to be some windmilling and "I'll scratch your eyes out bitch" going on in that house. Stay tuned, I'll try my best to report back for the season.

Eddie, You ARE The Father!

2007-06-25T15:23:00.000-04:00

Dear Eddie Murphy,

I hear that congratulations are in store on your seventh child. I know you can't wait to introduce her to the kids you had with that man Nicole and the other baby you had before them. Do you realize that you are rich and can get Trojan to personalize some condoms for you?

It beats going to the free clinic for shots. Seriously, I know that God said be fruitful and multiply but he wasn't asking you to do it all by yourself. Does Tracy know you like it raw? What would Rick James say about this?

The fucked up thing about this; you humiliated Mel on TV and in the press. Made her look like a tramp that fucks anyone. Haven't you noticed that she was way too quiet when the stories broke? Let me tell you why. She knew who her baby daddy is.

Any woman who doesn't sleep around or act like let's see. . .Kim Kardashian or. . .uhh. . .Kim Kardashian, knows who the father of her baby is. Even Supahead and Carmen Bryant know who the fathers are. . .that should be telling you something.

Bet you won't stick wet Willie somewhere raw again. It's funny you named your stand up movie the way you like to give it. . .RAW!

I think you need to hit up Diddy for child support advice. Oh, I forgot. We should have put you on the Maury show since you want to embarrass people in public. Why couldn't we have the results in public like on Maury. Eddie, in the case of Iris. . .YOU ARE THE FATHER!

Good luck,

DB

I Am Officially Done

2007-06-25T15:01:00.000-04:00

I'm finished being nice. I say this year after year, but seriously; I can't take anymore. From now on, I want all my shit up front. I won't loan you anything, I'm not putting myself out there for anyone anymore.

I loaned my son's crib to my sister (my oldest's son's aunt actually) because she was a young mother, just making it out. Now, Mr. Dia and I will be conceiving after the honeymoon; and guess what I want back? My crib that I brought my babies home in; where is that crib?

THEY GAVE AWAY MY SHIT! Why? It was in my "mother's" garage and she didn't want it in there anymore. WTF kind of Tom Foolery is that? What makes me even more pissed off, no one understand how I feel.

How can you give away something that doesn't belong to you? If it was taking up space in your garage; why not call me and say "Dia, your crib is taking up space. Do you want it back?" I've left a set of dishes in her garage for six years and she called me to come get them, but you can't do that for my crib?

So, as of right now. Don't ask me for shit and I want all that's due me up front. No, "Can you wait until I get paid?" NOPE, FUCK YOU PAY ME! Don't ask me can you borrow shit, nope because I don't trust you.

My trust in people have been dwindling little by little and this doesn't do anything to restore my faith in people at all. It's not the crib it's the gotdamn principle. You don't give away anything someone loaned you.

So, there it goes ladies and gentlemen. I'm fresh out! I have no more to give. I've given away something that meant a lot to me. I struggled to buy that crib and brought two babies home to sleep in that crib. . .and now I can't do that to the new baby, whenever he comes.

Fuck you very much, little sister for nothing.

Call me a bitch, at least I'm good at it.

Let's Talk Swimsuits

2007-06-22T07:57:00.000-04:00

Ladies, Ladies, My Ladies. . .Let's rap a taste about swimsuits. Men listen up because I need you to help your women out.

IF YOU ARE JIGGLING MORE THAN AN LL COOL J VIDEO OR A JELLO COMMERCIAL STOP WEARING FUCKING TWO PIECE SWIMSUITS!

Whew! I had to get that out, now let's proceed. Me and my fellas went to the amusement park on Wednesday; much to Avin's dismay because she thinks I have no job, yup I skipped work so what's it to you?

The mess I saw was ri-damn-diculous and I must speak on it; I've been holding it in and it's starting to feel like gas.

I'm at the water park and I saw two pieces on all the wrong people. Fat people, out of shape people, oddly shaped people. . .just all sorts of wrongness. Why do you insist on putting your fat ass in a two piece and your shit is jiggling baby? I saw the one piece suits that had the cut outs on the sides and meat and fat was falling out of it.

I saw stretch marks and pouches, side meat, back meat, front meat. . .it was a mess! Just because you can buy doesn't mean you should. If I said it once, I've said it a billion times. . .NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR EVERY BODY!

Even if they didn't have stretch marks they were still jiggling baby and wore a two piece or those laser cut swimsuits with the sides out. Please don't let me forget the little fat girls in two pieces. Now, I don't agree with letting little girls have their stomachs out; so why would your let your portly daughter wear a two piece and her stomach is bigger than the donut on my front left wheel?

I actually saw someone in a two piece with an underbelly, and I wanted to cuss so bad. I have a list of do's and don'ts and at this point, I think I need to get Congress involved because I can't trust you to make the correct decisions for the summer.

Dia's Swimsuit Do's and Don't You Even Fucking Dare List!

DO. . .try on the suit and have an honest friend with you. Having a friend that lie to you constantly will tell you that you look good wearing a cow manure bag, get that friend that's honest or have me go with you.

DO NOT. . .assume that you'll look like the Victoria's Secret model when you order your swimsuit. They diet and exercise or throw up their food. . .bottom line if you're eating Big Mac's and Whopper's with extra cheese. . .don't put your fat ass in a two piece.

DO. . .recognize your body type and buy a swimsuit that will enhance your good features or play down your trouble spots. If your whole body is a trouble spot, put on a moo moo.

DO NOT. . .lie to yourself and say that you love your body. Nobody likes their body, even the healthy ones.

DO NOT. . .tell yourself that 250 pounds is healthy and that you can wear anything!

DO. . .shop for cute one pieces or tankini's. They are making them real cute and sexy now, so you don't have to depend on a two piece to be sexy.

DO NOT. . .think that fat is sexy. BBW are sexy but when it's oozing all over the place it becomes nasty.

DO NOT. . .embarrass yourself! WAX, no one wants to see you looking like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons

DO NOT. . .FOR MEN. . .let your woman buy a two piece and she spends most of her winter and spring eating three pieces with extra sides. Be honest with your woman and tell her that even though you love her, that suit will not be appealing to her.

DO. . .FOR MEN. . .play up your woman's good features and suggest she buy a suit that will accentuate the positives. Remember, she'll be with you when she's wearing this suit. . .so please make sure she can represent you properly.

That's it my ladies. Several rules for properly wearing a swimsuit; if you're not sure how to properly buy a suit, always ask the sales staff. They are there to help you.

Have a good summer.

Isaiah Quit Your Bitching!

2007-06-22T07:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Washington,

I do understand that you're upset about being let go for your homophobic rants about TR Knight; however, I think it's my duty to tell you to quit it! NOW!!!!

You've compared yourself to Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. and why would you do that? You can't be serious right now; are you? They did things for this country that can't be compared to calling someone the f word.

Isaiah you were fired, let it go playa let it go. Every 10 seconds someone gets fired; whether it's wrong or not isn't the issue. The point is it happen, now deal with it like a man.

The incessant whining makes you look like a pansy and who would want to hire an actor that cries everytime he/she gets fired. Isn't there an unemployment office for actors that you need to standing in line for?

So in closing, quit the damn bitching because you're acting like one right now! I can't read my news and gossip rags without seeing you pop up like a bad case of the clap! There are plenty of other shows out there you can be on. Grant it they won't be the number one show in the country, but hey tough titty said the kitty.

Go kick rocks and stay out the damn news. You're really not all that important, I'm sure there's a barber that would really like to work on that shape up you haven't had since '82.

Not a fan,

DB

Why Must You Make The Kids Beg?

2007-05-31T09:38:00.000-04:00

I've been working in Downtown Washington, DC for about 6 years now and on my way home I've seen the same kids beg for money for a mentoring/sports program.

I know, I know. . .Wu-Tang's for the kids, but seriously why are these grown ass men making the kids beg for money? They've been asking for money for the same program for six years (as long as I've been commuting to work) and they haven't made a dime yet? I find that seriously hard to believe!

They are out there RIGHT after school. Which leads me to another question; how can they be a mentoring program if the kids are begging for change after school every day? Is it a weekend mentoring program? I highly doubt it!

How do you know that the men are begging. . .yada yada yada! Because the men are sitting in lawn chairs cooling in the shade, drinking a little lemonade (sorry Doug E. Fresh) on the median while the kids are in the street begging once the light turns red! Drinking water and shit, while the poor boys are holding up that old ass sign asking for change.

I gave them change the first two years of my commute, but then I realized this might be a scam. Do I need to call Chris Hansen? You know Chris Hansen can sniff out a liar like Kim Kardashian for new dick!

I'm not upset about the begging. . .hey if it's legit, then by all means go for it. Still why are the men pimping these young boys to do the job?

All I need is Kat Williams to jump out from behind a tree and start slapping bamas!

Poor kids! Where is Wu-Tang when you need them!? *calling Meth and U-god*

Yes, It's Hot! Does The Air Need To Be On Iceland?!

2007-05-31T09:34:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I finally got to watch my channels from 12 on up (long story. . .hating Comcast right now!) and I watched the morning news. It's a code orange day in the nation's capital and it looks like it'll be that way tomorrow as well (I knew I should have gotten my perm on Saturday). . .just freaking great!

Why do they (not my folk) insist on having the air on Iceland today? Don't they realize that women are prone to suffer from Headlight Syndrome? My heater is going on and off like lights in Sunday's thunder storm! I can't have my tater tots standing at full attention; sometimes that shit hurts!

Now, I would hate to work outside, but damn does it have to be so awfully cold in here?

A-Rod's Wife Is Getting A Ring Like 'Nessa

2007-05-30T15:11:00.000-04:00

AWWWWW Shucks, A-Rod you dirty little devil you!

He's suppose to be in Toronto with the Yanks for their game against the Blue Jays and what does he do? Take a very lovely curvaceous blond female out to dinner and was seen with said Ms. Curvy-ness at the Four Seasons Hotel, down the way from the Park Hyatt where the Yanks were staying.

They then were seen dining on steak and potatoes at the Harbour Sixty Steakhouse and instead of the after dinner mint; the $252 million dollar Yankee instead took Miss Thing to the Brass Rail to see the naked pole technicians do their thing.

What's the BFD you ask? He wasn't with his wife! *cue suspense music* No, his wife wasn't playing dress up; and no he didn't get hit in the head with a ball (every pun intended) and have a memory lapse. He was doing what men have done since the dawn of time; CHEAT AND GET CAUGHT!

Of course I would never assume that Mr. Rod (yes another pun) was doing the nasty with her, but hey; we are all adults here! And I know that Mrs. Rodriguez should be expecting a 10-carat "Bebe', Lo Siento!" ring shortly.

Yes, Miss Thing knew he was married because he had on his ring and she knew that he didn't belong to her.

Where's Shirley Murdock when you need a quick rendition of "As We Lay"?

To add to the madness. . .the Yanks lost! AGAIN!

Escaping Family Embarrasment

2007-05-29T11:05:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going to be able to dodge my family on my wedding day! Why am I happy, you ask? Well, you read and be the judge.

Let me say that I love my family in spite of somethings, no one's perfect and I would be a complete and total fool if I tried to front like I was perfect. So, with that said. . .let me continue.

My dad is my grandmother's only child (VERY LONG STORY) and so all of my aunts and uncles on my dad side are greats and all my cousins are second and third. Got it! Let's move on.

My dad's side can party and bullshit more than a Biggie album. They will actually and literally drink you under the table. . .AND DON'T LET THE SHIT BE FREE! They will show up in droves to drink and eat up all your shit. They may even fight and be loud like drunks do.

My birthday party they embarrassed me to no end. My cousin got drunk at my mother's house and went to the club and danced with every white girl that he could find, then he started yelling all loud. I had to ask my dad to tell him to cut that shit out, of course he came over to me crying and shit. ..then got in his feelings and didn't want to talk to me the rest of the night. BFD, like I give a good gotdamn!

My other cousin got married some years ago, and his father in-law had to cough up another 5 GRAND because they drank up all the liquor at the reception because it was an open bar. We can't have a cash bar because; one it's rude and two our service only requires an open bar.

So, I came up with the idea of cocktail tickets; two drinks is all you get and after that straight soda and water. Then you get to participate in the champagne toast and carry your ass home!

Well, hopefully I won't have to put up with the chicanery! I'm thinking they'll forgo the class and go to my cousin's wedding and let me enjoy my day without the anxiety of them working my damn nerves.

I pray I won't have to deal with people bringing their kids when I pacifically (yes, someone used that in a sentence this morning!) said, "NO KIDS!". And I love kids, but not when they are coming because their parents are too damn lazy and cheap to pay for a meal. Running around all over the damn place, crying and tearing down shit.

My cousins enjoy not disciplining their kids, but love to say "NIQUE NIQUE STOP THAT" while they're smoking cigarettes and drinking Miller Lite!

I love my family to death, but on my day. . .you can go to my cousin's wedding and I won't be the least more offended or disappointed. I'll just fake like it and hope I get a present. Too bad I won't!

Not that I won't get a gift because they won't be able to make my wedding, but I won't get a gift because they are cheap as hell. They'll come eat up your food, drink all your alcohol but won't leave a damn gift at the table.

Well anyway cuzo. . .good luck with that!

Can I Breathe

2007-05-22T08:21:00.000-04:00

Hey Folks - Can I NOT Be Busy?

Let's see, it's been a minute since I've blogged. I don't think anyone really cares, but just in case. Hey ya'll!

I finally got out of school for the semester; I passed with a B. I'm doing some training at work, I had a girlfriends weekend with my homeys. I'm pissed American Idol kicked off Melinda and I'm still planning my wedding which is 87 days away.

School was interesting this semester since I was also in the middle stages of planning my upcoming nuptials at the same time, ON TOP OF THE FACT I got a promotion at work in November. The promotion alone didn't give me enough down time to do my school work and at home I was doing wedding stuff and had to squeeze in my school work.

I eventually dropped two classes and passed the other class with a B. I do regret dropping the classes; feeling like a failure, and I know I'm every woman but even I know when to throw in the towel. I'm glad I got the B so it was worth it. I'd rather pass one class than to fail three.

I'm not sure if my homey's know this or not; I HATE SPEAKING IN PUBLIC! First of all I'm too short to stand in front of a class and teach a damn thing, secondly I get nervous speaking in public. Today, I have to test my new training manual with my co-workers which means I have to speak in public.

Did I mention I hate, hate, hate, hate speaking in public. I need some crack because I'm about to go into panic mode in two point three seconds!

I spent this past weekend in Philadelphia with my homegirls. We had a ball, didn't do too much because it's hard to navigate 8 people (especially women) into one direction smoothly. We shopped and ate which was about the extent of it, but we still had a ball nonetheless.

Why is Melinda Doolittle not in the finale on American Idol? Having her voted off was like a cum unfulfilled! You spend the season getting ready to have the big O and only to have AI pull out early! WTF was America thinking?! I hope they do change the voting system because something is terribly flawed.

Dancing With The Stars have the best voting system, I've seen so far. I do think that AI has run its course and will come to an end pretty soon. I've never seen so many pissed off at one season since I started watching it. First you have Stankjaya's non singing ass going as far as he did and now Melinda's not even in the finale.

Blake?! Who thinks Blake is hot?! Jordin's good but I mean damn, it's no finale I'd watch. Thank goodness for Law and Order reruns.

87 days away from my wedding and we're paying down everything we can as early as possible. It's a stressful period, but not that bad. I'm just tired of people asking me "How's the wedding planning going?". It can be a bit annoying to have 50 people a day asking me the same question, that and "Are you nervous yet?".

Seriously people, can you just not talk to me?! How about you try that for the next 75-80 days. I would prefer the silence, than you asking me the same damn question.

So now you're caught up.

2007-04-23T21:01:00.000-04:00

LET'S RAP

Now, I've been quiet about this rap music vs. Imus situation for a while now. I'm not going to comment about this any further than this blog so listen carefully.

I understand that there are certain issues with rap, the language and crap like that; videos all that misogyny and sexism stuff that Oprah like to comment about. And while it's a valid argument that rap should be cleaned up and that Imus shouldn't blame rap for using those words. We need to discuss the ladies in these videos and support this type of music and see nothing wrong with it.

Unless I'm mistaken, those women aren't being forced to perform the way they do in those videos; no one is telling them how to behave. They are voluntarily getting naked and voluntarily getting champagne poured on them.

They allow them to do that; for the money? Who knows but stop solely blaming the rappers and music execs for this type of behavior. Honestly, there are women who behave in everyday life the way it's portrayed in the videos. They see nothing wrong with waiting backstage to jump on the hottest rappers.

Hell, even Superhead and Nas' throw away wrote about a book about their exploits. Read any of those "sister girls" books and they practically glorify being platinum digging harlots with no regard for what's being said in the rap music.

Lil Kim, Foxxy Brown, Khia, Adina have all glorified screwing as many men as possible; but it's the men fault and it's that's their problem. Why not have them on Oprah and all the news channels and talk to them about it. Have the chicks from Spelman to discuss with these rap ladies the damage they are doing to the sisterhood.

The girls from Spelman (if you watched the Oprah episode, you'll know what I'm talking about) are right. If you go out to the club or any social function, men can't tell the "hoes" from the refined. Hoes aren't refined and men can't tell the difference between the two.

I've heard video hoes say that they are in these videos to pay for school. I use financial aid, get grants and if I wanted get scholarships. I don't need to shake it up in a Fiddy video to pay for school. They use the single mother angle, well I'm one of those too and don't need to have champagne poured on me for dollars. So try something new.

Bottom line (or "at the end of the day" as my sister say), before you slam the rap industry, try discussing the reason why those women are in the videos. I'm tired of the men being to blame for the downfall of the rap industry and the women are unscathed. So call the ladies to the carpet and have them account for their actions.

2007-04-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

MY NIGHT AT THE DANCE RECITAL

My step-sister (who's the daughter of my dad's girlfriend for those who know me) had a dance recital tonight at her junior high school and I must say, I was so pissed and mad at myself for being sucked into going to this travesty of dance.

I would have rather had my tubes tied awake than to watch that shit! Yeah family support each other, but this recital was interrupting my 24 prep time. Yes, I prepare to watch 24! Anywho, why was that the most disorganized display of dance since the rump shaker!

Okay, so they were sixth graders but still I was expecting something more substantial. I'm not sure what they "practice" during the school day but dance wasn't it, that more like watching two whalelephants stomping around looking for the free jello.

The A-day team was so terrible it was un-real and I was way too pissed at the teacher for setting those kids up like that. They weren't either counting or prepared but I wasn't impressed at all. They were looking at each other to take cues and they were running into each other.

The B-day team was the team my step-sister was on and it was better but still needed more practice before they got in front of people to dance.

I believe the real reason why they were put on display like concubines for sale, was the fact that they needed money. However, the dumbass teacher failed to realize to ask for money the giver needs to see quality.

The teacher was so tacky mentioning over and over how much the shirts costs and that they were selling Chik-F-Fila. I was so pissed that she wouldn't let up with the shameless plug and that piss poor excuse for dance.

Even the "star" dancer was subpar to me. My godmother has been a dancer all my life and she teaches so I know quality when I see it and that had no quality behind it. Even the teacher had problems with some with the dance.

So enough of my lamenting about this travesty that I went to. Did I mention, I would have rather have had all four wisdom teeth pulled than to watch that shit?!

I mean what could be worse; they could have been pop, lock and dropping it.

2007-04-23T10:20:00.000-04:00

WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?

I have several pet peeves because people do the dumbest shit and I can't figure out why. My pet peeve right now is putting on airs; why do people insist on acting like they're more than what they are?

Some people take the addage "Fake it 'til you make it" just a tad too far and this Tom Foolery must end right now. I ran into someone who was just as fake as her hair weave, even though she think it's real. She's on border line Hottie status (from FOL).

I don't get why average people don't realize their average. Don't be a name dropper either, I don't care what hot designer made your glasses; if you don't want someone to handle them, just say "no".

Who do you think you're impressing by acting the way you act? Maybe you're just fooling yourself into thinking you're more important than what you are in real life. Just because your body's hot don't mean you are seriously.

Don't act like you're too good to say hi to, nine times out of ten you will get told off. I can act like a kneegrow in the club, "BITCH YOU AIN'T ALL THAT ANYWAY".

Oh, don't think that I'm in the least bit jealous because what you eat don't make me shit (thanks Jay), so I'm not on your nuts or bra strap trying to get on. Be real, be who you are FOR REAL!

This "I'm the bomb.com" routine you play is played out. Just thought that you should know. You're no celebrity and will not be one. Got it? Can you hear me now?

So, I find myself asking that question, "Who are you again?" but apparently you don't know either.

2007-04-16T14:50:00.000-04:00

Charm School

Last night was the premiere of Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School and that will be my new guilty pleasure (providing it doesn't conflict with my time with Jack Bauer). Those chicks are way too funny already and it's only the first episode.

The cast of characters are (in no particular order):

Larissa (Bootz)
Shay (Buckeey)
Becky (Buckwild. . .no I'm being serious, her real name is Becky)
Brooke (Pumkin)
Schatar (Hottie)
Darra (Like Dat)
Leilene (Smiley)
Saaphyri (I'm not making this up)
Thela (Rain)
Cristal (Serious)
Jennifer (Toastee)
Heather (Krazy) - Tried to tell Mo'nique her name was Nevaeh which is Heaven spelled backwards, her stage name.
Courtney (Goldie)

The first episode, Mo'nique accurately told these girls that we weren't laughing with them we were laughing at them. However, she's there to whip these girls into shape by teaching them proper lady like behavior all while trying to win $50,000.00!

She got rid of their nicknames that Flav gave them and now they are to use their real name, with the exception of Saaphyri who got kicked off FOL before they gave her a nickname because she was fighting another contestant.

They had to "rough it" in the woods together, use team work. However, it took them 4 hours to walk 2 miles to the campsite. The next day they had an obsticle course race, two teams and the losing teammates faced elimination that night while the winners were automatically safe.

Mo'nique isn't doing this on her own, she has help. Mikki Taylor from Essence magazine and Keith Lewis from the Miss California USA pagents, they assist Mo in selecting who stays and who goes; sort of like how American Idol SHOULD BE, but I digress.

Well the Purple team (headed by Leilene) were the losers, partly because Darra was too big and needed help with the competition. The Yellow team (headed by Saaphyri) were more athletic and agile.

Thela wanted to talk to Mo'nique and had a private one on one with her and basically sealed her fate. She told her that she gets so angry that she can't see sometimes and because she can't scream she feels so angry she can't let it out.

So that was a done deal for her. She got sent packing. Mo'nique called her a danger to the house and to herself so she has to go and she needs counseling.

Another bites the dust *que Queen*.

She forgot Commandment #1 of the Charm School Ten Commandments

Check Thyself Before Thy Wreckest Thyself

2007-04-16T14:03:00.000-04:00

GUESS WHO'S BACK!

Hey ya'll; sorry for being away for so long, but with work, school, child rearing and wedding planning I'm too damn tired to be blogging.

I finally got the last bridesmaid to put her dress order in, I promise you I was extremely close to throwing a bitch out my wedding! These dresses better come back in time before I turn into Bridezilla; I'll start turning red and ripping my bra off and turn into some ungodly creature, I don't have the time for all this Tom Foolery!

I know I'm going to pay for this videographer by myself because the future Mr. Dia is so against the idea of a videographer; he doesn't think it's needed, but I think so. . .so now it's a game of "Let's See Who's Right" hosted by Alex Trebeck. Stay tuned for details.

I finally got the limo deposit in and the invitations are being mailed to me and that's when the fun begins. My mom wanted to send invitations to her country ass family even if they don't come so that they can have a memento. Umm, I'm not Hallmark and I can't afford "Mementos" I can get her some Mentos and let her knock herself out.

We need to go over our lists again, I may have some people I don't like anymore on it and they aren't invited. I already un-invited half my paternal side of the family, I mean WHOLE families aren't invited. My cockeyed cousin thought she can still be nice to me, bitch please. . .you better get some glasses like Musiq and go sit the hell down somewhere.

My dad's girlfriend offered to pay for my bouquet and that's so nice of her, she's really cool. She gave me some book about African wedding planning I only read during those moments of solitude in my water closet. It's only 20 bucks or so for the bouquet, now if she asked to help pay for something substantial, I would do back flips!

I already got my stylist primed and ready for my hair do, sorry Avin but I must get tracks. My hair is growing by leaps and bounds but not enough for the two styles I want; I need a wedding do and honeymoon do, so I'm getting a reversible hair style and that means I need weavage.

I have about four months to go and I still have to order shit like shoes for me and the ladies. My mom joked about me being short for my wedding, but I'm wearing stilettos of the four inch variety so that'll make me 5'2 and 3/4 or some shit like that. I need to hit up Prince because I know we have the same shoe size. Don't let the game fool you, I'll have flip flops on stand by!

I lost a hostess because her cousin is getting married on the same day and I have to ask my cousin to escort my great grandmother down the aisle. I'm trying to be sane because Avin will drug me, but the closer we get the more agitated I become.

I had to take two days off work because I was going to snap, crackle and pop! I'm good now, nothing like a night at the club drinking champagne and looking like a bad shut your mouth to brighten your mood up.

I have to blog about more, so that's enough wedding talk. Catch you on the flip side.

2007-03-20T14:10:00.000-04:00

Ladies IT'S SPRING!

This is my annual spring message to the ladies: PLEASE START PREPARING TO GET YOUR FEET AND NAILS DONE! While you're at it, shave down that forest around your chin and lips!

Now, I know I haven't shaved the legs regularly and the husband is complaining; but now it's Spring, so that means it's time to dust of the razor and start saving up for those mani's and pedi's.

I don't think I get the notice out in time, because I still see cuticles and nasty heels. Let me not mention the five o'clock shadows! I'm demanding that this year be the year that us ladies unite at the nail salon for waxing (EVERYTHING!), heel scraping and dirt cleaning from the nails and toes.

It's a must to try and keep up your maintenance from March to October, I'm not asking for a lot. However, if you decide to wear sandals, mules and the like; I do require that you get your feet done.

Please don't be at the club with a mustache and beard thicker than Santa Claus' trying to pick up a man (or woman. . both, I guess). You can get your mustache and beard waxed or tweezed, it's no excuse to look like your great uncle Cleophus who sits in the recliner smoking a pipe talking about the good ole days.

So, I leave you with this ladies: SHAVE, AND SHAVE AND SHAVE SOME MORE! Get those toes right, get those nails right. If you have more hammer time on your toes than a "Too Legit To Quit" video, please head quickly to your nearest podiatrist. It's okay to add extra nails on your hands, but NOT; I REPEAT not on your big toe!

This is my public service announcement to help out my fellow sisters. In the words of my home girl The Make Up Girl.

Stay Pretty!

2007-03-01T13:41:00.000-05:00

There's A "I'm A Whore" Book out now!

Yes, I bullshit you not! We have a new slut in town and her name is Jody Babydol Gibson, and she's telling all! She's the role model for Superhead and Carmen Bryant; she's old, haggard and well. . .who's going to screw her now? She looks like, well. . .their wives!

What makes these women write books about the sexual exploits, and why are you all reading this garbage? They've gotten paid enough for laying on their backs, and now they want to write a book about it!

Are they using the books to uplift the young women in this country on HOW not to act? Nope, they are just lining their pockets by outing who they slept with. Why should the public care about who you screwed? Who do they think they are going to hurt? I hope they don't think I'm going to look at them like they are some hero or role model. Not in the least little bit!

These books are nothing but a get back move on the part of the slut who writes them. Carmen Bryant screwed Nas and Jay-Z (probably at the same time) and all she got out of it was a case of the clap and a daughter! Nas moved on and married, and Jay's with Beyonce and his son in the tropics chilling. So this broad gets mad and want to write a book.

Superhead couldn't give out more head if it was attached to someone else's body and the checks stop rolling in so she writes a book because she can't get paid the old fashion way. Now we have the oldest hoe in America writing a book because her germ infested ass is going to jail!

I'm thinking they tried extorting the men they went to bed with, "Pay me or else". Can I tell you sluts; current and in training, that it makes you look desperate. No one is reading that garbage unless you are into to those sister girl books (I'll blog about that later) or your life is meaningless.

I don't care who had sex with whom and I don't want to read about how you whored your way through life instead of earning it.

2007-03-01T08:33:00.000-05:00

Girls Night On American Idol

If you are wondering why I'm not reviewing the boys night on American Idol, well the answer is simple; THEY SUCK HARDER THAN ANTONELLA AT A FRAT PARTY! Okay, that wasn't nice, but you get the point.

I'll be brief with the girls, I can't do the run down I did last week because of time. So here's the remix:

Gina Glocksen, not really a fan because of her arrogance so she can sing the theme to Sesame Street and I would boo her! The songs she picks isn't changing my mind either.

Alaina Alexander, I wouldn't be ready to make nice either if you sang to me that song! Leave it to the Dixie Chicks!

LaKisha Jones, she's on the Midnight Train to success. She can really sing, but I agree with Simon that outfit was too distracting. She can sing though!

Melinda Doolittle, I just love her. She's so down to earth and have talent, she's not like what Simon said, "Someone with no talent but have a big ego" (*cough* Gina *cough*) Melinda can sing and she's so humble too. She doesn't take anything for granted. Love that!

Antonella Barba, I liked it better when the reportedly had the dick in her mouth. That wasn't nice, but the only mic I want her to rock is of the male kind! PLEASE SEND HER HOME, but send me the dress that was so cute!

Jordin Sparks, she's so infectious and likeable. She got so emotional last night, she wasn't at her best but she was still good.

Stephanie Edwards, *sigh* I liked the dress, although it did look like a nightgown; however, she was WAYYYYY too Beyonce-ish last night. She was better last week, she has an excellent voice but she didn't sing the song last night. She'll stay around though.

Leslie Hunt, HATED IT! In the words of my home slice, Simon Cowell "What the holy hell was that?" That was absolutely horrific! The scatting at the end was just indescribable!

Haley Scarnato, she wasn't the Queen of the night except when she's swinging from the chandelier with her fiance. Her performance was much better than last week, but still horrible. She'll stay around to next week though.

Sabrina Sloan, I loved her performance last week better. When you sing Whitney, you can never measure up. Plenty have tried and they all have failed! Sabrina has a very good voice, so she has staying power.

2007-03-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

Honey, I Blew Up The Kitchen!

The night before last, I wanted to make soup. I'm a good cook, beginning foodie if I must say so; my only food nemesis was soup, I was afraid of soup. I always wanted to make it! I tried one recipe but it stunk the house up something awful, to the point I was afraid to open the pot to throw it out.

So, I tried a new one; with a few additions it came out great. Getting to the end was a journey itself!

I always like to pre-heat my pots while I'm preparing the food because I don't like being ready to cook but the pots or pans are ice cold. So, while I was chopping the onions I turned the soup pot on to warm up. That was the point all hell broke loose.

I put the butter in the pot and it started to burn immediately, popping out the pan type burn. It got brown and then black in a half a second, so I tried to take it to the sink to run water under it but it was popping to bad for me to hold it.

I waited (so I thought) for it to cool a bit, when it stopped popping I poured cold water in it. AND OH MY GOODNESS! It started popping even more, it started splattering all over the place. The sounds were a cross of a tommy gun and butter lover's popcorn.

My oldest was jumping up and down screaming, "POPCORN!" "POPCORN!" "POPCORN!", my kitchen was a tee totalling mess! I had burned butter on everything! From the floor to the back of the stove and up to the cabinets!

I had to completely clean up the kitchen and start over! At least the soup came out right, even if I had to damn near blow up the kitchen to do it.

2007-02-22T08:15:00.000-05:00

Girls Rule On American Idol!

I watched the boys dreadful performances on AI Tuesday night, and I wasn't really looking forward to hearing the women caterwaul for the next two hours of my life I wouldn't get back, BOY WAS I SURPRISED!

They (some) did an excellent job, and I was truly impressed. Here's the run down and the grade I give them. In order of performance.

Stephanie Edwards, 19, Savannah, Ga.: sang "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore" and she started the show off with a banger! She got on her knees when the song called for, and she blew it out the water. I gave her an A+! She'll be back next week.

Amy Krebs, 22, Federal Way, Wash.: sang "I Can't Make You Love Me" and I hate when people other than the originator (Bonnie Rait) sing this song, and Amy didn't do anything to change my mind about that either. I gave her a D! If she makes it back next week, she needs to do better than that. She has a nice voice, but please know your limits.

Leslie Hunt, 24, Chicago, Ill.: sang "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" and in the words of "In Living Color" Blaine and Antwan "HATED IT!" I gave her an E (not for effort, but for ENOUGH)! Hopefully she won't make it back. What makes it even worse is that she really thought she was singing.

Sabrina Sloan, 27, Studio City, Calif.: sang "I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You)" and it was a really good performance. She took a risk singing Aretha and made it her own. I gave her an B+. She'll be back next week.

Antonella Barba, 20, Point Pleasant, N.J.: sang "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" and it was horrifically dreadful. What she forgot was that only Aerosmith can sing Aerosmith songs, rock songs are only able to be sung by either fellow rockers or the originators themselves. I gave her an D-. If she stays around for next week, it's only because she's pretty.

Jordin Sparks, 17, Glendale, Ariz.: sang "Give Me One Reason To Stay Here" and was really good to. She's the youngest lady on there (17 years old), but she rocked it better than someone a few years older than she is. I gave her a B+. She'll be around next week.

Nicole Tranquillo, 20, Philadelphia, Pa.: she sang "Stay" (both sang by Chaka and Erykah Badu) and it was so awful, it was making my ears bleed! I gave her an F+. I hope she gets sent home.

Haley Scarnato, 24, San Antonio, Texas: sang "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" and only Celine can sing that song. The song is really boring and I think it's meant to be that way, and Haley's voice could not carry that song. I gave her a C-. She'll be back next week, she has talent but need to pick a better song.

Melinda Doolittle, 29, Brentwood, Tenn.: sang "Since You Been Gone" and she really has talent! Not too many people can sing Aretha, but two of the three did an excellent job last night. Doolittle was no exception, she truly owned that stage. I gave her an A+. She will be back next week.

Alaina Alexander, 24, West Hollywood, Calif.: sang "Brass in Pocket (I'm Special)" It was unforgettable, and terrible all the way around. I gave her a C-. If she makes it back next week (and I'm sure she will), she would need to pick a better song.

Gina Glocksen, 22, Naperville, Ill.: sang "All By Myself" and it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't great either. The note she hit was off the mark like target practice. I gave her a C. She would have gotten a low B, but her cockiness wasn't very endearing for me. She needs to take the criticism and learn from it. If she makes it back next week, she needs to pick a better song and learn from her mistakes. Arguing with Simon won't earn you brownie points!

LaKisha Jones, 27, Fort Meade, Md.: sang "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" and she sure is not, because she closed the show the way Stephanie Edwards opened the show with a certified hit! She sang her ass off! I don't even give her a grade because she's in a class by herself. She's not going, and she told us!

The results show is tonight, and in my opinion; they can get rid of all the guys, except for maybe Justin Timberfake (Chris Richardson). Way to go ladies!

2007-02-22T07:41:00.000-05:00

Howard K. Stern

It's my time to weigh in on the Anna Nicole Smith (ANS from here out) nightmare that's been playing out from the moment she died from still unknown causes on February 8th.

I watched the court proceedings yesterday, they still don't have her buried yet. Hell, if James Brown is still in his living room watching Cops; it's safe to assume that ANS won't be buried anytime soon.

I've said it all along, ANS was being used even in her death by people she loved and cared for. The only person she could count on was her son Daniel and know I know why. Howard K. Stern (HKS from here out) had a job as a lawyer making $60,000 - $75,000 a year, until he took on ANS as a client. Then he started making $12,000 when they did the AN Show a few years ago, he admitted in court that ANS paid for his clothes, bills, food; whatever he wanted, she paid for it.

He told the court that he didn't "charge her for his law services", but he did not have an active practice after he took her on as a client. Now, instead of working again, he's mooching off his parents. If he was trying not to look like a snake, his testimony in court didn't help him at all.

HKS threw in the "we had a loving relationship" and the judge ripped him a new one. "I didn't ask about that!" is what the judge said. HKS only saving "grace" if he has any is that he didn't take much money from reporters for his story.

ANS mother, on the other hand is very very shady; I've said several times that I can't stand her at all! Now, I see I'm right.

She flew to the Bahamas to have a memorial service for her late grandson Daniel, on his 21st birthday. Which was all fine and good but she took a reporter and her sister in-law, and those pictures ended up in Splash magazine. The reporter paid for her and her sister in-law's trip to the Bahamas. She blamed her sister in-law for the videos of ANS hitting the airwaves and that she [the mother] didn't get any money from them.

The court asked her why she didn't visit Daniel on his 20th birthday, she said that HKS told her that she couldn't see him. ANS was so drugged up that HKS was running the show. The judge told her to cut it out!

ANS was a mother, whether she was a good one or not is up for speculation; however, she was a mother devastated over the lost of her son. Bury her next to her son, and leave her alone.

These two opportunists are truly showing why she acted the way that she did, not that I excuse drug usage and alcoholism; but with a mother like that, I'd drink myself to death too.

2007-02-06T14:06:00.000-05:00

DON'T PISS ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT'S RAINING!

I think we all need to read this book by Judge Judy, I'm going to pick it up or order it from Amazon; apparently the title is catchy enough for me to use repeatedly. She didn't actually use the word "piss" the word she used is "pee", same difference.

The point is people lie all the damn time, and mostly it's so freaking unnecessary it's borderline comical. I had this lady call saying she never received an email and decided to have an attitude. "Is someone just not responding to me or are we not getting the email?" I had to kindly let her know the day and time I replied (Outlook does let you know when you've forwarded or replied to an email), and she got quiet.

Next, she tells me that she doesn't know why she "didn't get" the email. "It could have gotten dumped in my quarantine file." NO YOU DELETED THE EMAIL! Why not tell the truth? "Oops, I didn't know what that was or who that was from; can you send it again?"

Any thing's better than trying to lie to me, and wanting me to go out my way to help you cover up your lie. Just be honest.

Why do people insist on lying over the stupidest shit, I'll never know. I can spot bullcrap from a mile away, and on a bad day you might get called on it. She wasn't embezzling from the university just deleted an email; yet she wants to lie.

Bottom line: Saying "oops, my bad" is better than a lie any day. Try it, the next cuss out you save might be your own.

2007-02-06T07:49:00.000-05:00

Out: Accepting Responsibility

In: REHAB!

Lately rehab has been the way to go if you have any problem that society thumbs its nose at. Isaiah Washington went to rehab for calling T.J. Knight the f-word, Lindsay Blohan goes to rehab; but she really needed it.

Now the mayor of San Fran is going to rehab for his "alcoholism" problem AFTER the scandal broke of him screwing the wife of his campaign manager. Why is rehab becoming the new black this year? Where is there a rehab for calling someone the f-word? Why didn't they make rehabs for calling people the n-word?

I'm convinced it started with Eric Benet going to rehab for his sexual problems after repeatedly cheating on Halle Berry, and it just snowballed from there. The senator from Florida sending sexual text messagaes and IM's to congressional pages, now he's in rehab for his alcohol problem and he's gay and he was abused; and blah blah blah save me!

Why not just admit to the problem at hand instead of trying to find an excuse? "Oh, I called you a bitch but the truth is I have a crack problem. I'm going to rehab for it though" Save me people, stop finding reasons for shit you do.

Bottom line, you're not dealing with the real issue at hand and using rehab as an excuse.

2007-01-19T08:55:00.000-05:00

5 Things You Didn't Know About Me

(1) I love accessories! Earrings, necklaces, rings. . .you get the point, I love to have my accessories match my outfit. I don't care if I'm wearing a beat up t-shirt and sweatpants, I have the perfect pair of earrings for those.

(2) I am a car singer. I'll never be the next American Idol, unless they hold auditions in my car! I have days where I'll rap, I'm the next Jay-Z or I'm the next Mary J. Blige. I can do a mean ass "Not Go'n Cry". I can sing in the house when no one's home, then I'll have own concert going; complete with hair brush and I'll even fall on my knees. Yes, I know I need help!

(3) I need make up and clothes. I can't stop shopping sometimes! I have favorite stores in New York City that I go to. I get clothes for me, my boys, even for the fiancee; as long as I'm shopping I don't give a hell. I can't buy pieces, I have to buy whole outfits; of course they're interchangeable, but I can't just buy a top to match some pants I have at home. I have to buy the pants to match the top as well. My make up palette have to coordinate with what I wear, if my eyeshadow doesn't coordinate, I'll change my whole outfit.

(4) I have borderline OCD. I can't have a blue towel with a green washcloth, they have to match. My t-shirt that I sleep in have to match my draws, which have to match the bra I put on in the morning. I just re-arranged the cabinets so all the vegetarian bake beans can line up together, because the can of peas were in the middle. All the numbers have to be even, and all the colors have to be lined together. All my black slacks are lined together, and all the browns and so on. So what I'm dysfunctional.

(5) I have way too many nicknames. My country ass family have given me at least 6 nicknames that I can think of. Me and my cousin are in the same boat, which happens when you're the two oldest grand kids born in a family of moonshine drinking, tobacco chewing and spitting, shack living hicks like mine!

2007-01-16T15:26:00.000-05:00

I WISH A MOTHERFU*KER WOULD pt 2!

******WARNING!******

I refuse to disclose the web address, please do not ask me for it because the answer will be no. You are free to Google and look it up yourself, I suggest you do that if you want to know what the site is.

I'm watching the news (see IWAMW pt 1) and there's a site for road rage drivers. If you cut someone off, they can write down your license plate number and put it on the internet for all the world to see. They can also send a message to you through that same site.

Now, call me crazy but I don't think this is at all safe. What if the person is a lunatic? What's stopping them from going to the DMV and getting your address? Did the person who created this site ever think about that?

Yes, road rage is a problem and it should be addressed; however so is Sunday driving during rush hour. If you are a regular rush hour driver and there's someone driving slow as all hell, yes they may get a horn or someone may go around them. Road rage is dangerous and I'm not and never will condone the types of road rage out there.

However, we do have drivers who insist on driving like they have no where to go. I don't give a hell who you are, if you're driving slow you will know it. I don't think this site is being responsible at all; how can the protect the public from being stalked?

You don't know who's in the car and you already run the risk of being assaulted while you're on the road, now you mean to tell me you have a chance of being stalked and killed?

With identity theft on the rise, I think this site is about the same as a myspace page for pedophiles.

2007-01-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

I WISH A MOTHERFU*KER WOULD!

******WARNING******

I refuse to give out the web address to the sites I'm going to mention, because I don't want you getting shot, stabbed, poisoned or otherwise tortured because of me. Google and figure it out, don't ask me for nothing because you won't get it. I'm not going to be responsible.

Now, we got that out the way, I can continue. I was in Canada with the Mr. on vacay a couple of years ago, and I meant to blog about it but it just slipped my mind until I was listening to the news last night.

I saw a commercial in Canada for a website that will allow you to meet married men or women and hook up with them discreetly. Yes, you read correctly. You can set up a profile on their site and meet other married or involved men or women, and no this is not a swingers site. This site will allow you to cheat on your spouse with help from the internet.

I'm only assuming that with other "match" sites, they can weed out the married or committed couples and kick them off. This site has decided to "match" married or involved couples with other married or involved couples.

Well, listening to the news last night, I heard of another site. This site will set up an alibi for you, if you're cheating on your spouse or significant other. If you are lying to say you're going on a business trip, they will provide phony airline tickets, hotel bills, etc. Yes, again your read correctly.

This woman (who was not identified of course) told her husband she was going to Chicago for a business trip, instead she ended up somewhere else. This site provided her with a phony hotel number that will ring to her "hotel room" in Chicago, she got phony plane tickets and even business meeting information to bring home to her husband.

My question is: WHO IN THE HELL THINKS OF THIS SHIT?

I wish a motherfu*ker would try some shit like this! He would be all kinds of dead, you heard me correctly D-E-A-D! As a doorknob, as James Brown with no grave! DEAD!

What happens if they get caught? This can only last for so much, will these sites prevent your impending ass whooping?

I've met my share of grimy married men, either they pretend they're not married or they don't care to disclose that little fact; but to put that on the internet is just ignorant.

While I'm not shocked at internet contents anymore, I'm still amazed that people don't realize they are going to get caught. You can use these sites all you want, but human error will get you all the time.

This just causes people to do more checking, instead of reading receipts, start calling places. If you have to act extra pressed, then so be it.

My blood pressure went up three points, please don't try it!

2007-01-16T14:51:00.000-05:00

A NEW DAY HAS BEGUN!

Yes, indeed Jack's back! A new day started on Sunday and Monday with two two hour season openers, and I'm hooked as usual. This season Jack is back from the Chinese camp he was sent to at the end of last season for killing a bunch of folk at the Chinese embassy; he was sent back as a bargaining tool for the terriost Fayed.

Jack tortured Fayed's brother to death and his brother wants revenge, he'll give the government the location of the person responsible for bombing several US cities and causing countless numbers of deaths; however, he must get Jack so he can kill him.

Well, he does get Jack and is all set to torture him. He tells Jack that the government has been had, and that he's the real terrorist. The man he's setting up wants to end terrorism and wants to have peace talks with the US. Well, Jack won't die for nothing especially after being tortured by the Chinese.

Jack decides he needs to escape and help the government, so he kills one of the men holding him hostage and escapes. I just love this show as you can tell, and I swear this is the best show on television.

They killed Curtis! JACK KILLED CURTIS, so now I'm in mourning. Hush Avin, he was the for real boyfriend I would dump everyone for! Now when I watch the show I can't say, "HAYYYYY CURTIS". I can't console his *ahem* soul, when he's upset! This is a sad day in television, shooting JR can't compare to this!

I'll pour out henny, or water before the show comes on. Anywho boo, I really do love 24. I don't know why, but I can't get into the other shows; I'm starting to turn into a dark show watcher, shows that no one else watches. House, 24 and all 800 Law and Orders; shows that have dark humor or just plain violent.

Not that I'm going to shoot a terrorist or save a life with my special brand of wit and humor, but I can't watch these new sitcoms. They're just not funny to me.

Anyway, I'll post reviews of 24 when I get a chance. It's a beautiful new day in Los Angeles, I love it when they just randomly blow up downtown LA. . .movie stars are flying all over the place!

Just bring back Curtis!

2007-01-11T08:27:00.000-05:00

Please don't think I'm dumb!

I'm back on my wedding grind, I have six months to go before I have to finalize everything before my big day in August; and I guess it's "be nice to Dia, so I can get invited" time.

Last night, I'm talking to Daddy about his suit; Avin, I broke down and decided to have him walk me halfway down the aisle. I'll update my page on the website in a few minutes, I hate it when she's right.

Anywho, we're chit chatting shooting the breeze talking wedding talk and my cock eyed cousin wanted to talk to me. Now, we're the same age about three days apart; she has four daughters to my two boys. She had her twins a month before I had David and I believe the last time we had a decent conversation was when she was on baby number three. That was years ago, and so when she wanted to talk I took it for what it was. Bullshit.

Did I mention she called my grandmother (her aunt) the devil? Oh, yes she did ladies and gentlemen. She waited until my grandmother was alone and started cussing her out and calling her all kinds of names, now nana could have sent her to ICU quickly but she took the lady route and told her granddaughters! All hell broke loose quickly.

She started talking all that "yeah give me a call sometimes, we're cousins you know?" I kindly reminded her that she should never talk to me, if she know what's good for her.

"Do you really think I'm stupid? You expect me to call you because 'we're cousins'? You didn't think about that shit when you cussed my grandmother out like you lost your entire mind? So, do you think that I'm going to call you to shoot the breeze and bullshit? Are you really trying to get an invitation that hard? I will not feed you or your grimy, disrepectful ass kids on my dime. Keep your ass in Palmer Park and catch you on the flip side. Put Daddy on the phone!"

I mean seriously, if you have to work for an invite; you know that you don't deserve one. I've heard of this and even made the joke about how many friends am I going to get now just so they can go to the wedding. I'm no Princess Diana or some celebrity so I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but seriously don't think I'm stupid.

She hasn't talked to me in years, we've said "hi" and "bye" to each other, and as much as I go over my great-grandmothers house, why not try to be all chummy then? I don't like coincidences at all, and this one just sent off all kinds of red flags.

I'm wondering whatelse is going to happen in the next six months?

2007-01-09T19:46:00.000-05:00

NutriSystem Commercial

"Wow, I can't believe it! I'm a size two!" Every time I hear that, I instantly turn the tv to another channel; I don't care what the channel is, I just don't want to hear that commercial. I think NutriSystem is the most flawed diet program outside of sticking your finger down your throat.

You spend money on buying food, but you're not taught how to eat responsibly. Now, if you're a NutriSystem junkie, please feel free to set the record straight. I don't hear how and I've been on the website, not once do I hear or see anything about responsible eating. What do you do if you go off NutriSystem? Is it set up to make you dependable on them to make sure you lose the weight?

You're spending three hundred dollars or more for a month worth of food, all your meals are planned; breakfast, lunch and dinner. You get desert as well. All frozen, even desert. The last time I checked; reheated eggs don't taste too well. What are you being taught on the program? Can you ween yourself off the program and learn to cook on your own?

Why not do the sensible stuff, more fruits and veggies; cut out all the unnecessary carbs, drink more water and eat smaller portions. Why spend hundreds of dollars to do that?

Why are you so damn lazy, but are willing to have someone do it for you? You can get a maid for that much and have her make your food for you. If you knew how to grocery shop, you wouldn't need NutriSystem. They're only sending you what you can get with a coupon and a bonus card, but just too damn lazy to take the time to find what you need that's healthy.

I'm tired of this huzzy telling me she's a size two because she got comped by the company to promote their product. I'll eat it to if it's free, send me three hundred dollars worth of free food and I'll eat until the end of time.

I think that NutriSystem is a flawed system and not worth the money.

2007-01-09T18:52:00.000-05:00

If You Wear a lot of Perfume/Cologne, Please See Your Doctor

We have this temp that I'm close to cussing out, now she's not my temp but she's in the accounting department which is next door to me. They ran out of room to put temps (even though they have a spare room) and they stick this broad in my area.

Now, I've had run ins with her trying to get into my business; she's the type that if you're talking to someone else that you know and have a report with will jump in UN-ASKED with a response. That type, she's asked me questions like "Where you going for lunch?" like I know her like that. She got mad when I said "Who are you?" Must I remind her that she's a fucking temp? When you holla when you speak remember you don't know me!

I think they waited until I went home sick yesterday to move her stanking ass over to our WORK SPACE; not meant as a permanent work area. If we are doing a big job, use the back desk, that's what it's designed for; don't send Dayshanaira back there with her Ode de Funkette sitting behind me.

She funked the place up so bad my co-worker got nauseous. When she comes to work with "Good morning, I hear there's a problem with my perfume" I was about to fire her up until my co-worker say "Dia, umm can you go and check for faxes please."

I get back to my desk and she ask me if I'm still stick; I'm sounding like I'm rapping Juicy, so I say, "Yes, sick or no sick I'm sensitive to strong smells. I can smell what someone's had for lunch down to the pepper. So strong perfume won't cut it here" You know she had the audacity to respond with "Aww, that's so unfortunate!"

Woooo she got lit into something terribly. I don't understand why people insist on dousing themselves in their perfume or cologne. Why does she need to re-perfume herself when she goes to the bathroom? WHO RE-PERFUME themselves? I've never heard of such a thing until today.

What is so wrong with taking yourself to the doctor? I know some folk have strong body odor, but you've been living with for umpteen years and the only solution is to re-perfume yourself every three hours?

We won't even talk about going into the bathroom after someone woman with a clear booty problem just left; some 'cilin will clear that up for anyone if they just make a doctors appointment. BITCH YOU STINK!

You don't know how many times I've called for a janitor to come clean the bathroom. I work with some trifling asses and they see nothing wrong with it. "Let me just put some spray on it, or let me perfume myself no one will know." Yeah right you funky ass heifer, I know you got something!

Hopefully they will move her, because I would really hate to make her life a living nightmare; but if she tests me one more time, it'll be unfortunate.

2007-01-03T11:39:00.000-05:00

JUSTIN MIGHT BE MINE!

Rumor has it that JT and Cameron broke up, so he might be back on the market. Let me get my dress and heels ready so I can meet Mr. Homelessville! I was wondering if they would get married or if he would realize that he needs to move on.

Cameron's a nice young lady, but I'm better! Okay so I'm delusional, but hey; so what!

Apparently she spent Christmas with her family and he spent Christmas with his family, now this is all reported by Spin or Star magazine; so If you believe this, I have a stable in Brooklyn to sell you dirt cheap.

Okay back to regular news.

2007-01-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a happy and safe new years celebration, I watched the mister get drunk out his skull which annoyed the hell out of me. Not that he got drunk, but I had to drive him home and listen to him earl in the bathroon; I guess that's what they call love. I call it a pain in the ass!

I'm back on the No White Stuff with Avin and the gang, and I'm dying a slow and painful food death. I'm going to make it, just miss my food! Well not all of it, just the important stuff like, umm CHOCOLATE!

I have a question, that I'm sure has never dawned on anyone yet. Why do people ask me if I had a good new year? Why not ask me if I had a good New Year's celebration? My new year is only three days old, and so it's hard to determine if it's good or not yet. I had a wonderful time celebrating the new year. Anywho, that was my "things that make you go humm" moment.

I don't like to do resolutions for the new year, they never last for more than a day; and they are always stupid. "I promise not to cuss so much" well that's a lie, because I usually forget and start cussing someone out on Jan 1st. Me and resolutions never work out too well.

This is one is a short one today, I might post again later. Actually, I don't really feel like typing too much right now. Get at your later!

2006-12-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

HI, MY NAME IS MISS USA, AND I'M A COKE HEAD!

I don't think that I'll ever understand "important" people and why they seem to enjoy screwing up a good thing, when the everyday folk like myself can never catch a break. Miss USA, the worst self-esteem contest of the ages seems to turn out the most baffling news stories. We had Vanessa Williams posing naked for playboy, who turned out a mediocre vocal career and now we have Tara Connor drugging, screwing, partying and drinking in NYC.

Her country bumpkin ass never saw the bright lights of NYC and got caught up in the nightlife and don't know how to act. Sneaking boys into her Trump Plaza apartment, kissing Miss Teen USA and just acting a pure fool.

So, I wonder if The Donald's going to say "YOU'RE FIRED" or find some other way to give her the boot. How is he going to find his next wife, if you're acting a fool? Did she not realize that her every moved would be monitored? Did she take a drug test before she tried out for Miss USA, and what made her think she wouldn't take subsequent drug tests?

What does Tara have as a plan B? At least 'Nessa had a side hustle, not a good one but she did pretty well for herself. Tara can't marry rich, because Anna Nicole married Jesus' great-grandfather and he just died finally, Donald hasn't finished with his 8th wife and Bill Gates don't want to part from his money if he divorce Melinda.

The best she can do is be a mistress, or a video dancer. She can do her talk show circuit and take her ass back to the bluegrass state and talk about her wild days in the big city. She had it made, for a year she had a place to stay she didn't have to pay for. She had all the "part-time" fame only a good 15 minutes can bring. She didn't really have to work, but get paid waving and smiling. She had it made, and her dumb ass ruined it. She can't follow directions too well, and just ruined it.

Now, I guess she'll be a teller at a bank or maybe she can take up banjo picking. Whatever they do in Kentucky. OOH, I know! She can work at White Castles! Hey, Tara, can you ship some here, because I have a man who loves that crap.

Anyway, start singing Green Acres, cause good bye city life. You idiot!

2006-12-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

TIME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT!

This will probably be my last blog before the New Years, so let me try and end this right. I'M FAT! Not, "Oooh, girl you got a body" fat, I mean "Please back away from the plate, put the fork down and walk slowly to the gym and nobody gets hurt" fat!

I'm used to eating my weight in food during the holidays, but oh my goodness gracious I feel like Petuna Pig and this must stop. I put on some; okay so I ATTEMPTED to put on some jeans the other day and let's just say my thighs were border patrol and my jeans tried to sneak into the country. . .they immediately got halted and had to turn around and go back into the closet.

Of course as I'm writing this, I'm planning a New Years party with food! I eat on Thanksgiving, my birthday weekend, Christmas and New Years; so needless to say my hips has spread like SARS and there's not a vaccine in sight!

Did I fail to mention I have a wedding dress to fit into? Well I do, so I have from January 1 to August to get it together. I don't want to be a fat bride, I don't want to be fat period!

So, I'm throwing out all my food and I'll be hitting the No White stuff with Avin and possibly The Make Up Girl. I'm sure that I'll NEED to blog to get my mind off food and so I won't be at home snapping at folk.

I feel like "Weird" Al, and I need to be singing "I'm Fat". I don't wanna be skinny like I need a treatment center, but I don't want to look like Aretha Franklin either. I love food, but I don't need to love it that much.

I'm not an emotional eater, well if it's good then I do get emotional about the deliciousness. However, I don't eat when I'm mad or depressed or when I'm happy; unless I'm celebrating. My eating is an equal opportunity process, but when I do eat around the holidays it's alot of food.

We family hop, my mother's, his parents, grandparents, etc. so we're always eating. Holiday parties at work, my birthday. . .just random plates of food.

I try to do all those "tips" for holiday eating, but that shit don't work. Who in their right mind wants to eat an apple unless it has a flaky crust around it with Cool Whip? I do make sure I get my veggies in, and I drink plenty of water. My plates however look like the leaning tower of Pisa, I'm telling you this madness needs to stop.

So, no bread, no pasta, no rice. More water, more rest, more exercise. Time to break out the healthy cookbooks and work this out and off!

I'll keep you posted.

2006-12-05T07:53:00.000-05:00

Billboard Awards

I watched that travesty of a music award show last night and was extremely disappointed. They had random ass talking, and what I think was a 10 second delay, why? Because 7 seconds wasn't long enough, and leave it to the rappers on stage instead of saying "And the nominees are. . .", they start talking about screwing the chicks from "The Girls Next Door", it's really bad when Chingy say "What are we talking about?" We won't discuss Flava Flav!

Gwen please stop singing that damn yodeling song, it's positively dreadful (yes, I got it from Simon). Pharrell needs to be arrested for a noise violation for that mess. I'm glad that Beyonce wasn't rolling around on the floor or singing her nursery rhyme, in fact she wasn't even there. T.I. if you're going to continue to hang out with Tiny from the defunct singing group Xscape, please let her see a dentist, because her grill isn't sexy. Maybe to you, but you're from the south so nevermind.

Mary, as much as I can and do appreciate your music, I have one thing to say. STOP THE FUCKING SCREAMING! It turns into a scream feast everytime she gets a microphone, and it's getting to the point you can tell when it's coming. Geez, the speakers on my tv are on the verge of going out everytime she starts screaming.

Why didn't they have anyone more interesting perform? The only performance of the night was Luda and the gang, and although he's a good rapper (and not bad to look at, hush Avin!) I would have liked to have seen more acts perform. Not just rappers or r&b singers but someone else.

So I'm wondering if they are taking the Billboard awards seriously anymore. Based on last night, I wouldn't either.

IN BABY NEWS

Madonna is at again, she's trying to adopt another baby from Malawi. I'm not sure if I blogged what I felt about the first adoption, but here you go.

Dear Madonna,

I understand that you're again trying to adopt a baby from Malawi, and that now Guy Ritchie has decided to borrow some nuts and put his foot down. Not that you'll listen but it's the effort that counts. I would like you to step away from this one, and just go and raise your other kids.

The Malawi government doesn't want you taking their children back to your castle, leave them alone. Work on your marriage because Guy's not happy right now, between baby snatching and your Kabbalah; it's taking a toll on the poor man. I don't think you want to lose him, remember the last man you had Carlos Leon and where's he now? Playing a drunk on all 42 Law and Orders.

I'm not sure what you're trying to prove by adopting babies from poor countries, unless you're trying to out do Angelina and Brad. Honey, give it up, to be honest they're a more likeable couple than you are alone in your quest to rescue poor babies from African countries. They've already got this thing on lock, so you can't be a copy cat that's not a good look for 2007.

If you really wanna follow their footsteps you would at least have an affair with a handsome male married actor, and pretend to NOT be a couple and then have his baby. At least you'll be villified but since he's cute you can get a pass.

Honestly M, you should just let it go. I mean if you really want to adopt poor black babies, go to Compton or NYC. . shoot go down to Tuscaloosa and get you a baby. At least heed my advice and be your own woman, not Angelina.

Sincerely,

Copy Cat Management

2006-11-30T07:41:00.000-05:00

Rosie, SHUT UP!

I'm so glad I'm not at home watching that cow party in the name of The View, and I don't know if Rosie was a better choice than Starr and I personally don't care for either one. That show has gone downhill faster than a coked up movie star and I'm really shocked and appalled that grown ass women act like this. Barbara Walters, I at least thought was more professional and maturer than what I've heard and seen from the clips on the view. Oh, don't make this seem like I'm backing Starr Jones, because I'm not; I could give a damn about her, and she's one of the reasons why the show started its decline to me at least.

Now, Rosie's in her spot and let the hen feast begin. She tried to call Kelly Ripa out on being a homophobe when Clay Aiken put his hand on her mouth. First let me say, unless I've been living under a rock, Clay has not come out the closet so where did she get the "Kelly's homophobic" from if she doesn't or didn't know the man was gay? Now she wants she and her lover to live with Shittney Spears so she can teach the girl some family values. From who? Rosie, I think not, and it's not because she's gay but because she has no sense of reality.

I wish she would try and come in my house and want to "teach me family values" and I'll teach her the value of an ass whooping! The View or ABC need to tighten the reigns on these horses, they sit on stage and want to pass judgment on everyone like their lives are so perfect, and it's just sickening.

What makes it worst, I used to think of Barbara Walters as one of the journalism gods, but now I don't feel that way anymore. She's a pioneer, but I no longer have the same respect for her; she just seem to act as immature as the rest of them. If Oprah or Katie Couric start acting like that, please commit me to the nearest sanitarium.

I can't believe there are housewives/husbands at home watching this cluck party everyday. So glad I'm at work.

2006-11-21T11:17:00.000-05:00

American Music Awards

Tonight is the night for awards, performances and a tantrum from Kayne West. American music is being honored tonight, host Jimmy Kimmel will I hope be marginally funny. I think they were better off getting someone else, but I'll give him a try. Of course, I'll watch this show tonight with some trepidation; why you ask? Well because of the following:

Mariah will be naked, Jay and B will AGAIN for the 50-11th time perform together (I think, and pray not), B will roll around on the floor like a Swiffer. I won't understand a word those rock guys are saying, and Jimmy Kimmel is the host. Kayne is nominated but let's see what fly out the jaws of life if he doesn't win.

I would like to ask why in the name of all that's sacred is Keyshia Cole's nominated for anything but hoodrat of the year? I'm not a Beyonce fan, I like her but you won't see me acting a fool over her; but I'm vexed as to why she's not nominated but Keyshia Cole's is. I'm scratching my head off that one!

I would like the awards folk to adopt a few rules:

(1) If you're not there to accept your award, then you can't win. Except in cases of your baby's sick, you're sick or you had a death in the family. Just because you're working on your album or on tour, that's not an excuse.

(2) Only have the artist that is winning the award on stage! We don't need all of their relatives on stage giving shout outs. If you did not actually sing on the album, sit your ass in the audience and be happy you don't have to sit in the overflow room screaming like everyone else.

(3) Give the mic only to the ones who contributed to the record they are performing. I don't want to hear the hype man yelling over the rapper/singer who actually put work into the album and deserve his/her moment to shine.

(4) Stop giving them gift baskets, taxes or no taxes that shit ain't right. They make millions, give the money you would spend on gift baskets to charity or to a music in school program.

(5) Please go over the "thank yous" before they get on stage. Most of them haven't either graduated from high school or have a good grasp of the english language; and since my tv doesn't have subtitles for "what the hell did she just say?", please make sure it's legible and audiable before they talk.

These are just a few things, I wanted to point out. I'll be back tomorrow with a wrap up of the show. Happy Watching!

2006-11-16T11:52:00.000-05:00

I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE. . .SAY HELLO TO THE WICKED BITCH OF EAST!

I have tried it for about two years now, and I tell you being nice ain't where it's at anymore. I'm reinventing myself and the bitch all at the same time. And before you get your Hanes in a bunch and start talking about how rap music calls women that all the time and it's yada yada yada, let me tell you know to stop reading my blog and go fuck yourself!

I'll call myself whatever I want, and for the record if you've been reading; you'll know I'm not too fond of today's rap music. Anywho, I'm taking a stand! I'm tired of not being listened to when I'm nicer, and I can no longer take feeling like an idiot because I'm trying to let shit ride and understand how things are going. I'M STARTING A MUTINY ON BEING NICE!

I was trying this out to see how it fits and it fits like a small pair of draws and I'm on my cycle; needless to say you get the point! So, from now on, I'm not taking your shit anymore you hear me? Don't ask me for shit, don't ask me why I can't be approached and don't ask me basically for a damn thing!

No, Mr. Dia didn't dump me, and no I'm not turning into Bridezilla (I think I'd get gone by my bridal party), I'm just fed up and I can't take it no more. Let me sit on my side of the floor and listen to my radio while I work. No, I don't want to go to lunch, and we ain't fucking homies!

You hear me numbnuts? I'm not being nice anymore, satisfied now? Leave me alone and let me be, I think it'll be better if you just not talk to me right now. I'm liable to say some shit I won't regret, but you think I'd ought to.

Oh, stop taking yourself so seriously, you think you smelling roses but it's only your bullshit!

Have a Wonderful Day!

2006-11-15T13:44:00.000-05:00

TAKE OFF THE SUNSHADES!

I have been dying for a while now to make a blog about sunglasses, maybe I did and don't remember. Oh well, read again!

I'm walking back from getting my eyebrows done, and it's a gray day outside; what do I see? Someone wearing sunshades like it's a balmy 85 degrees outside! Why does that bother me, you ask? Because sunglasses, sunshades are for that SUN! Don't come to the club in your sunshades on, unless you have Transitions don't wear your shades when it's gray and cloudy outside; please don't think you're that important.

I swear these regular folk can't turn the videos and movies off for nothing, can't be original enough to think of common sense shit like "Oh wow, it's raining outside damn the umbrella let me get my sunglasses!" My future's bright too and that I need to wear shades, but let's be serious are you mocking tv and movies? SAY, "YES, I AM!"

Is that what you aspire to? What's going to happen to your eyesight when you get older and your eyes haven't had proper light?

So anyway I'm done with that, in other news!

TAKE OFF THE DAMN OPEN TOE SHOES!

You get two for one today, it must either be your birthday or I just felt like typing. Well, if it's the latter it's to take my mind off of catching my son's cold. I should ground him until I feel better, but I think that would be bad parenting. Anywho boo, let's talk shoes!

I love shoes, I have shoes I haven't worn yet; but what fries my pickle are open toe shoes between the middle of September until early April. Ladies, ladies, ladies! Let's dish!

Firstly, it's a no no! Secondly, stop looking at the models in clothing magazines, trust and believe that one they're in a studio so wearing OTS is okay to pose in and if they are not they are getting paid big bucks into tricking you to believe that it's okay for your toes to look like frozen vienna sausages!

Your head and feet need to be covered during the cold months because they keep your body insulated! Maybe you're always cold like me, or maybe you have some common sense but I can not fathom the notion of getting all dolled up for an event and buying OTS. Avin's going to an industry thing for her job, and if she came to me and said, "Dia, these shoes are the bomb and they're open toed" I would have drop kicked her ass back to the store so she can take them back!

You can look so cute in a nice holiday outfit with closed-in shoes, you do not need to suffer and make your toes freeze for fashion! Please cover your feet this season!

2006-11-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Kanye,

Why do you insist on making folk not like you? I'm not sure where you're going with the he-bitching you're doing, but it's about time you stop it.

Touch the Sky was a nice video, and I don't give a damn if you had Pam Anderson screwing Anna Nicole on film, there are others out there better than you. I know you can't believe that it's true, but let me set the record straight for you. . .YOU'RE NOT THE GREATEST!

You make some songs that are nice, and I guess you can call College Dropout a nice record; but K-DUB seriously, give it up. Stop acting as if you invented hip hop, because you didn't! You can't honestly believe that you'll win every award, and please don't think or stop thinking that you are obligated to win an award based on who's on the album or in the video. I would rather see Jay and Dale Jr. than you're smarmy ass and Pam's half naked ass on my TV.

Practically after every award show, the news reports of you bitching and whining. Crying like a kid who's trust fund got snatched and they're fucking for dollars! You really need to get a grip, stop taking yourself that seriously. I'm not sure who's gassing your head up, but they need to stop playing with themselves and lying to you! I hope you're not screwing them, because you're getting a raw deal!

Act like a man, be a man or follow someone who is a man and emulate them. Because you are truly acting like you need to be on pre-school playground, whining and shit. "Ms. Thomas, they won't let me win an award" *cue falling out and crying* Dumb ass, can't be humble to save you!

So in the end, I hope that you can find your nuts you keep losing them around award time. All that estrogen isn't good for you, makes you moody and unstable! Some prune juice will help you let the shit go easier and faster than going at it alone!

Have a good day,

D

2006-11-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

My First Flight Across Country

Only I would have to travel across the country for the first time for work! Normally, you wouldn't catch me making plan reservations to visit some city with a three hour time difference than where I live now. Where did I have to go? Seattle, Washington!

Now, Seattle's not a bad city actually. I would have liked to seen more of the suburbs and do more than hang around downtown Seattle, but I wasn't there to play. I don't think I'll be going back to visit, but it's still a nice city from what I was able to see.

Let me tell you, you need MONEY to shop there. Not just money, but M-O-N-E-Y to shop there and I'm a shopper, but I was out of my league there. Furla, D&G, Cavalli, etc., you get where I'm going with those names right? Duckets, cash, dolla dolla bill ya'll. . .all that shit!

They have their own Fifth Avenue, for real it's called Fifth Avenue. I've never been on the Fifth Ave in NYC, so going across the country to a Fifth Ave is retarded! I'm no Paris Hilton (money wise, let's not talk about her as a person, 'kay?), so to walk into a Norstrom with a Chanel department made me a tad uncomfortable!

They have a lot of young homeless kids there, more than I've seen here in DC. They are harmless and hang around their cliques, but they do ask for money. Some could be runaways, and others could be on that stuff and got thrown out by their parents. You kind of feel sorry for them, and it makes you grateful for what you have.

IF I SEE ANOTHER DUNGENESS CRAB I'MMA FIGHT! I WANT REAL CRABS! They had no blue crabs, and I was getting pissed! Now, I want some crabs!

Anyway, Seattle's a nice place. Lot's of shops, and I love shopping at stores they don't have a home; same with my food! If you like to travel across the country and never been there, I would recommend it.

Thanks for the hospitality Seattle, I hope you can put my money to use; since I gave you almost all of it!

2006-10-24T13:16:00.000-04:00

Here's Your E-Hug, Ben!

I've been feeling so sorry for the NFL's Big Ben, I'm sending him this letter.

Dear Ben,

Your year started out on a high, you won the Super Bowl and went to Disney World. It just seems like now you can't catch a break if you threw it yourself. Your accident, appendix and now concussions; my heart goes out to you. You're such a great player, but I think you fell into that Super Bowl curse.

You need to take a long nap, and regroup. It's not your fault though, but still every report I've heard all year has made me say, "Damn!" In the words of my homey MC Hammer, "Don't give up, never quit. Because, you're too legit to quit!"

If it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have none at all. It can only get better for you, homey. I mean look on the bright side, you could have Whine-O (better known as T.O.) cussing you out on the sidelines!

Here's a hug to you Benny, and hopes for a great 2007!

Dia

2006-10-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

ANGRY WAL-MART CUSTOMER

This is my warning for any of you who shop at Wal-Mart. It's been years since I shopped at Wal-Mart because I was very turned off at the way they treat their employees, and the stores that I'd frequent looked like a swap meet meets yard sale. The aisles weren't neat and orderly, or they were too small to squeeze a cart through. You'd have 50 people waiting to be serviced and only three open registers.

I decided to give them another chance, and ordered a bedroom set for my children from them. Also, I didn't want to pay for the set directly with cash, so I used my Bill-Me-Later account (who will get this blog mailed to them and also Wal-Mart) to pay for it later. That was a big mistake, I should have just toughed it out at a more reputable store. I'll discuss UPS' role in this mess (and they will also get this blog as well) at a later date.

I get the bed set in a timely manner which was what initally impressed me, and thought that Wal-Mart were stepping up to improve its customer relations. I've been in customer service for the past 12 years, and so I know what good service is. For me to be impressed with Wal-Mart took a lot, because of my reasons for no longer buying my goods from them. However, it went downhill QUICKLY from the time I got the order.

Let me tell you exactly what I ordered. I ordered two mates beds in Honey Oak and the matching chest of drawers for my two sons' room. The beds also have three drawers underneath which along with the chest, makes for excellent storage space. Plus, it's cooler than your "normal" bed with a headboard. The honey oak color matched perfectly with their pea green wall coloring. So, anyway back to my story.

Me and my fiance, put together the chest just fine. So we open the box to one of the beds, and the color is "Pure White", did I mention pure white in my description? Heck no, I said honey oak. I was upset, but thought both of them were "Pure White". WRONG AGAIN! One was white and one was the correct honey oak color I ordered.

I sighed, discussed it with the mister and we both decided we'd send the wrong bed back and get a the correct order. Both invoices said "Honey Oak" so what moron sent me the wrong bed, I have no damn idea! Yes, I'm getting pissed! So, I call Wal-Mart's customer service number, thinking "Well, they'll send out another one and have UPS come pick up this one." Gotdamn, I'm tired of expecting shit from corporations, because the consumers are always screwed in the end. Ask me if I give a shit if Wal-Mart takes offense to this!

Anywho, UPS calls me Columbus Day, Monday to tell me that they are picking up the item between 8am and 7pm; yeah, the eleven hour window sucks majorly. So we leave the box outside with a note as instructed by the computerized voice UPS called me with. We run our errands, come home and the box is still out there. Well, about 715 that night, I hear the UPS truck coming and I looked out the window. I said to my honey, "UPS is here" since the box is so heavy, he was going to help him carry it out to the truck.

We are looking at this bastard sit out on the truck and roll out, not once did he knock on the door or leave a damn note. So, I leave it out on Tuesday and no one came to get it. I call Wal-Mart and the CSR tells me that UPS attempted to pick it up on Monday, I told him that was bullshit! That UPS driver lied and never attempted to pick it up, he sat his lazy ass on that truck and put that he made an attempt when he know good and hell well he did not!

I would make this short, but since I'm sending this to several people; including some news outlets that would probably love to hear how Wal-Mart yet jerks off another customer, I want to make this very accurate.

I come home Tuesday night and there is that damn box, meanwhile my youngest son is sleeping on a mattress with no bed. I call Wal-Mart, explain the situation and let them know I'm very disgruntled with their services. Of course they don't care, but I needed to get that off my chest. They get in contact with UPS who told them to tell me that they'll make a delivery pick up attempt that night. Well, they didn't. I waited up to 11 that night, before I realized they lied to me again.

Wednesday, I call again. Yes, again I got the run around. Here's our customer service works at my job, just so you can know what I was expecting. If the customer made a mistake and wants to "trade" what they received for what they want and the prices are the same; we'll ask them to ship the order back before they received what they want. If we made the mistake, we'll express to them the correct order WHILE the mistake's in transit.

Wal-Mart told me they have to get the order back before they send out another one, and that's not fair because I'm paying for their mistake. The policy is flawed, because my five year old is sleeping on a mattress and not enjoying the luxury of sleeping in a bed like his older brother. It wouldn't matter which one I gave the bed to, it's still unfair of Wal-Mart to have that scam of a return policy.

Back to Wednesday, again, I get the run around; and I get placed on hold while they talk to UPS. I repeat my story of how that lying ass UPS driver didn't attempt to do shit but get paid, I guess they were making sure I was telling the truth. You think I want some crap I didn't order? "I do apologize for your troubles.. . . " Here's what I want you to do: DON'T TALK ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE, SEND OUT MY RIGHT GOTDAMN BED!

UPS calls me Thursday morning to tell me that someone will be out between 10am and 4pm to pick up the order. Guess what's in the hallway when I get home? THAT PAIN IN THE ASS OF A BOX!!!! I immediately get on the phone with Wal-Mart and this time I'm talking to a manager, no offense to the CSR's but I want some answers NOW!

The manager was polite and put me in conference with UPS, and I told them again my story. The same story for the whole week, I'm frustrated and angry. I'm getting the run around and get some bullshit ass "I apologize". The manager tells me that once the box is scanned they'll send out another bed and they won't wait for it to get back. Which is a damn lie because I called Wal-Mart just now and the CSR told me that they have to wait until the package is scanned into WAL-MART's system before I get my correct order.

They lied to me and I don't appreciate that shit at all. So, back to my original reason for not shopping at Wal-Mart and add this mess to it. I'm being punished for their mistake, they sent me the wrong bed and they're acting as if I'm in the wrong.

Now, a week later, my son is still on a mattress and no bed. That manager lied to me, even if he didn't tell me out right; he still lied by omission and now I'm on a warpath over a bed!

I'm sick of it, I want to pay my bill and never shop there again! I'm telling any and everyone with some clout and without, not to ever shop their again! Their service is absolutely terrible and it's unforgiveable.

Please spend the extra money and shop some where else, because as they roll back the prices they roll back the service as well. You get the service you pay for at Wal-Mart.

2006-10-18T07:31:00.000-04:00

I NEED AN ASSISTANT. . .STAT!

If I have another training session, I'm going to lose it. In case you don't know, or care to remember; they gave me a new position at work and I have to be trained on it. That's no problem, but tell me why you block out two hours at a time? Do you really think I'm an idiot? Do you think your job's that involved that I can't grasp the concept of what it is you do? How about a resounding "NO, YOU ASS" on both questions!

So, before Avin and TheMakeUpGirl start sending me death threat IM's "post or else" type shit, I'm busy! Not to mention my job's annual meeting is coming up, so I'll have plenty to post about. I'll try to sneak in the Fall Trends Part 2 post before I leave. If not, I'm sure you all will be okay!

So, I apologize in advance for not posting recently and in the very near future!

2006-10-13T07:44:00.000-04:00

Fashion Fall Must Have, Part 1

Hey ladies, the weather outside is getting frightful; and what better way to stay toasty and warm? Okay, besides next to a hunk of a man. . .SHOP! That's right, go shopping and do it proud!

In my first of six installments, I'm giving you the low down on the trends for Fall 2006. I do agree that these trends aren't for everyone, and I'm not a die-hard trend follower but if you are, pay close attention.

The Bubble!

No, not the backside of a woman, it's the newest trend for fall. Not a man in a bubble or bubble guns, this particular style "rounds" out at the waist and then follows a tapered form at the bottom. Not my favorite style trend, but I'm sure one of you would love to wear a bubble.

As you can see in this Badgley Mischka outfit, the skirt is poufy around her waist and it tapers off around her kneecaps at the bottom. They are not just exclusive to skirts, dresses and coats are also bubbled this year.

There are several pros to this type of style: one, you can hide your imperfections especially if you experience your most unsexy moments. If you're working on your shape and isn't that confident yet this could be for you. However the con is, it can make you look a tad bit too wide or heavy and if you do have a sexy body you can't see your shape in this type of style.

Of course, not all bubbles are created equal. Bubbles can be small or large, but please don't wear this!

Dress Gorgeous!

Photos courtesy of Style.com

2006-10-10T08:19:00.000-04:00

HER CRAZY ASS IS AT IT AGAIN!

I was reading MSNBC online (which is really good reads if you must know), and that damn 'runaway bride' Jennifer Wilbanks is at it again. In case you don't remember, this is the nutjob that faked her own kidnapping days before her lavish wedding to her fiance John Mason and ended up in New Mexico only to say "oops, I lied". After the whole country was looking for her, feeling sorry for her finace; I know I said, "that's a shame, who would take her before her wedding day? poor guy, I know he's devestated." Only to find out this dumb ass lied!

So, what's the latest you ask? Well, she's suing her former fiance for $500,000. $250,000 as her share of a home Mason purchased through the partnership with proceeds from $500,000 received for selling their story to an agent, plus $250,000 in punitive damages for allegedly abusing the power of attorney she granted for him to handle their financial affairs, according to Atlanta television station WAGA, which reported on the lawsuit Monday night. (courtesy of MSNBC.com)

I wouldn't pay her no mind or half a million, I can't believe a judge is actually going to listen to this case. That man suffered wondering what happen to her, then to find out she didn't want to marry him. To find out your fiance doesn't want to marry you is one thing; but to have it newsworthy is so humilating. If I was John I would tell that broad in the words of my homey Jay-Z: "Tell to take that lawsuit and drop it like it's hawwttttt" and crip walk my ass out of court.

2006-10-04T12:53:00.000-04:00

Oprah and Gayle's Big Adventure

I've been watching and actually hooked on the Tuesday installments of O and G's quest across the country. It's been so funny to watch Miss Billion Dollar Oprah, sleep in hotels we wouldn't sleep in or would sleep in. She had no idea how us "real world" folk schlep it everyday.

In case you don't watch O, let me get you up to speed. O and her best pal Gayle decided to drive from her house in California to the Tony's in NYC. She wanted to see the country in a Chevrolet, and so it's O and Gayle in the car, with her staff and camera folk in mini vans behind her. She still gets her work outs in, even though she's eating everything that decadant she can get her hands on. Chris, her trainer, who is decadant himself and I want to get my hands on; is just vetoing all her "guilty food" requests, but she eats them anyway.

The first stop was Vegas, and they couldn't find the way to the hotel registration; for some reason they wanted to check in like us commoners. Oprah doesn't like to ride in the car with music, she likes to be with her thoughts. Umm, Oprah Gayle Winfrey, I love being with my thoughts too; and I often drive to work (40 minutes to and fro) with the radio off, however, I can not drive across the country with no music at all. My thoughts can take a break while I get my Jodeci on.

I have two close homey's in Maryland (I have good friends outside of Maryland and didn't want to exclude them) that love to sing. . .TERRIBLY, I might add. I think the reason me and a certain friend (she know who she is) hasn't taking that trip to Cleveland is because she threatened to belt out a Mariah Carey tune for the whole six hours. My other good girlfriend will actually call me at work, singing HORRIBLY!

Gayle is no Crystal Gayle, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket. Bless her heart, I'm a car singing too so I know how it is when that song gets to you and you're really feeling it. I know Oprah wasn't feeling it, and that made it so damn hilarious. To see them just "surprise" people, by just coming to their house to say, "Hi" is so funny. People just start screaming and carrying on.

I know they're the same folk that sit at home and say, "If I ever met Oprah, I wouldn't be jumping up and down screaming like a fool!" Well, needless to say, they reneged on that promise; they hollered like a church revival on a Thursday night. Honestly, I would do the same thing, just be better at playing it off. Okay, so I'm lying!

Could I go across the country with my friends in a car, for days on end? Possibly. Would I want to find out if I could? Not on your life! I love our friendship too much to do that to them. We couldn't make it passed Ohio without trying to put each other out! O and Gayle, I'm sure was tested on their journey; and their friendship I'm sure survived just fine. I, for one, don't have the patience to do something like that.

It's funny to watch them every Tuesday, like a 4pm sitcom. Thank goodness for TiVo! I'll try to update you next Wednesday what happens next.

2006-10-03T15:18:00.000-04:00

Wedding Planning

A lot has changed in the month, almost two since I posted a blog. Well Dia's getting hitched, somebody actually got the net out and caught me. Truth be told, I just got tired of running. So, now the fun begins!

I have two natural sisters (I did pray incessantly to be an only child, but alas it wasn't to be), one is upset that she can't be a Maid of Honor, the other's upset because it's not happening to her. She and her boyfriend has been together about the same amount of time that me and Mr. Dia has been together. So she's needless to say jealous/upset/pissed/whatever about me getting married.

I'm a mother of two boys by two different men (neither one I'm marrying), didn't finish college. I was relegated to the role of family screw up, never would amount to anything; you know shit your folk THINK and sometimes slip up and say. I've been called a slut by my mother before, but that's neither here nor there.

Well, Dia cleaned up her acted and now have someone that wants to marry me (don't cry, he's loony. Avin can tell you, the man can't A-Town stomp worth a damn). So folk are jockeying for position, ATTEMPTING to tell me how to run my shit.

I'll call my jealous sister (before I figured out what her problem was) to tell her about my latest wedding issue and she's like "Well, that's not my problem" and hangs up. The pain in the ass sister told me that if she can't be a maid of honor she's not in my wedding. Fun right? Fucking entertaining!

Well, if you knew me you would know that I don't give a damn. I can't care about other folk issues, just put them at arms length and keep it moving. My PIA sister was like "this isn't your wedding, this is the family wedding." WRONG BITCH, THE FAMILY AIN'T PAYING FOR THIS SHIT!

Sometimes, I want to elope. I don't because it wouldn't be fair, and I want my true homegirls there. The Makeup Girl will be making me even more beautiful than I already am. Avin, WHO SHOULD BE THE MOH has been there keeping me sane; if that's possible.

So, I'm straight! So stay tuned this it going to be like Oprah's and Gayle's Big Adventure and shit.

2006-08-23T09:57:00.000-04:00

The Lack of Real Talent In Music!

I really have to consider who my friends are, because someone I thought was a friend sent me this YouTube link that's making me reconsider our friendship. She sent me Cassie's performance on 106 & Park, and I must say it was the worst display of talent I've seen since the coming of Ciara!

Please see for yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXPWhzYk4hc

I've been quiet about the state of the music today, because I'm considered an old head (I'm 30 to be) so what I say really wouldn't have any bearings on this crap they call music.

But after watching this performance, I was truly amazed at what these poor children are listening to. I guess if it's a good beat, then to hell with the vocals and that's a damn shame. This chick Cassie needs to do what she can really do, and that's look pretty. She maybe smart, but she wasn't smart enough to realize she has not a damn ounce of talent.

"Well she may have had stage fright" And before you justify that travesty of a performance with that lame ass excuse, let me tell you that EXCUSES ARE REASONS FOR FAILURE! That performance failed miserably. "Well, if you think you can do better, then sing" I'm too much of a realist to understand I wasn't blessed with the gift of singing joyful noises unto the masses. I know what my limitations are, and I do have folk around me to let me know in the event I lose my mind and try to get a record deal.

We won't even discuss what they are actually SINGING about, because that's for another blog. But when did having a pretty face and body constitute having talent? Granted you don't want a mud duck singing his affections toward you, however, I don't want to hear some obviously cute young lady subject herself to this kind of ridicule by murdering a hit!

Why won't these parents teach these kids what real talent is, let them listen to the music we grew up on. I was listening to MJ this morning singing, "You Wanna Be Startin' Something" and 23 years later, that song still rocks.

Yeah yeah, we come from a different generation and all that bullshit but to hear what I heard on YouTube isn't making this music sound better.

"If you don't like it turn it off" Well, fuck you very much Mr. Music Police! I can do whatever I want, and listen to whatever I want.

I do listen to some young people music, but I listen more now to the music I grew up on. I sing along and enjoy it, and I'm getting my boys to enjoy it. I know they like that shit that's on the radio now, but I want them to know music history before they take this poor excuse for entertainment seriously.

Cassie is better off on a runway, Ciara isn't Janet Jackson, and Beyonce is not and I repeat IS NOT TINA TURNER! B, has talent in a way but she's not TINA. She's Tina KNOWLES in about 10 more years, but not TINA TURNER!

Teach these kids about Chaka, Tina Marie, Tina Turner, Anita. . .the list goes on! The Whispers, damn how about Parliment? Cassie, ain't it! Puff need to stop lying to these heifas!

2006-08-18T12:04:00.000-04:00

My New Beauty Addiction!

Avin hipped me onto a product, I've heard about it for while but never tried it. It's called Carol's Daughter!

Now, I've never been a fan of "alternative" products with fruits and berries and shit like that, however, I decided to give it a try. Low and behold I like it, I like it! I haven't been able to use all the products yet, but what I've been able to use has made my hair look and feel the way I've wanted it to for as long as I can remember. It's moisturized without being too greasy, it's bouncy and light not heavy and a burden.

When I got my box, I was still wondering if I was going to like it. I saw you can't return the shit, so I prayed that I would like it. Carol's kid must have known that Glinda's daughter would return shit in a heartbeat if she doesn't like it. Not that I agree with the "No Return" policy, but hey; it's their business not mine.

I used Lisa's Elixir and Hair Balm on my hair and let me tell you; before CD, I would have to part my hair, grease the scalp and the hair then curl. The process would weigh my hair down and it was very time consuming. When I put the CD in my hair; a little bit of each in my hair (a little goes a long way, please believe that!) and I didn't have to add anything else, just curled my hair and it was done!

My hair was so soft and silky feeling, I loved it. You can put it in your hair every night (a little drop, and it doesn't matter if you skip a night) before you go to bed, it's not heavy and it doesn't weigh your hair down.

I never talk about any products, but this is a must. I don't think this is for everyone, but if you want my opinion. . .PLEASE TRY IT! You can get the smaller bottles to try before you spend money on the bigger bottles and don't like it.

I also bought some cleanser for my face. I went the Bella Sante spa in Boston and the esthetician told me my face was very dehydrated, so I went to Carol's Daughter and got some products to clean my face. I used Ylang-Ylang & Patchouli Gentle Face Wash to clean my face, to tone my face I used Rosemary and Chamomile toner; to moisturize it I used two drops of the Essential Serum. A little bit goes a long way with these products.

I have very sensitive skin, and when I rave about a product; it's pretty damn amazing. I never advertise any product, but because I've been having eczema flair ups like crazy lately, I decided to try it and so far this feels good on my skin and hair.

I have some shampoos and conditioners to use, so I'll probably blog about that when I have to wash my hair.

I really like it, and it's not for everyone so if you don't like it that's fine!

Thanks Avin for getting me hooked on something! You know your shit!

2006-08-17T08:49:00.000-04:00

REMY MA IS NOT HIP HOP!

I'm watching Emeril last night, and I really like that show and the themes they have at times. So last night, when they had the hip hop show, I wanted to watch it. When he announced his guests, I was totally disgusted. He had Sunny from Hot 97 in NYC, and REMY FUCKING MA!

Why? Why have these white folk think that hip hop looks like Remy Ma? She looked like a hot mess as usual, and she is not hip hop. Who in the hell invited her to the show? Hip hop? She's hip hop? I think not! Why not get a hip hop veteran or someone that matters?

Was she a cheap alternative? They didn't have to pay her in cash, but in colored weaves? I know Sunny's her homey; by the way Sunny can cook her ass off, but I digress. However, Sunny didn't have to invite her to come along! Keep Pepe LePew's third cousin in the house.

I'm glad the Excedrin PM's made me go to sleep, because I would have thrown a shoe at the tv.

Dear Un-Black Americans,

Remy Ma is not how hip hop looks, we don't really know what she looks like outside of the male cousin of RuPaul. Remy Ma is to hip hop what Wendy Williams is to journalism, a fucking travesty.

Thank you,

Hip Hop Management

2006-08-14T09:03:00.000-04:00

DOWNTOWN DETROIT!

I went to Michigan to see my girlfriends this weekend, and yes I flew. I was really scared to fly, but I'm always scared to fly. That's a totally different blog all together. So, let me get down to business.

I have a girlfriend in Cleveland and one in the suburbs of Detroit. To make this short, we picked up Cleveland and brought her back with us to the ‘burbs. Miss ‘Burbs, was invited to a 21st birthday party, and it was a club in downtown Detroit.

The three of us are standing in line and “Lil Ron and the Southside Boyz” showed up, and stood behind us in line. We were dressed very lady like, and then I hear “Umm, you have a nice ass.” Now, in any other situation, I would have gotten beside myself and really went off. However, this was downtown Detroit, Michigan, and I really wasn’t in the mood for a shootout.

His half way intelligent homeboy said to him, “You don’t tell her she has a nice ass, you tell her she has nice jeans.” It’s a shame when your friend has to tell you how to talk to a lady, granted he was no smarter, but at least he tried.

I was truly disgusted at the ignorance of the boys in that place. I understand it was a young club, but it was just way too much going on. I’ve never been so disrespected in a public outing, they didn’t touch me but still. Let me go on, it’s turning my breakfast just thinking about it.

So, I finally made it through the gauntlet of boys in that club to sit at the “party” table. This one guy, who was about as high as he was drunk comes to the table. He stands in front of me and say “I need you.” Yes, he actually came to a woman and said, “I need you.” What did you need me to do? Perform a breatalizer test on you? Did you need me to get you a cup so you can pee and we’ll all know what you’ve been smoking? What did you need me to do?

He asked me if he can call me, I said, “No.” This bama actually asked me why, now I have two boys. Granted he didn’t know that, so after he asked me “Why not?” I reverted back to my conversation with my baby boy just a few days ago, and replied the same way “Because I said so.” Just like my baby, he walked away upset. And just like the conversation with my baby boy, I didn’t care.

We couldn’t get out that place fast enough, I was pissed I couldn’t do the “Booty call”. We had more fun at Kickers, and that blog will be coming shortly.

Men, please teach these boys some respect for women. Please let them know that “You have a nice ass” is not a pick up line and neither is “I need you” Also, teach them that 301 is not the zip code for Washington, DC. Yes, I did lie about my age, and I don’t think you’ll read this because you don’t know how to type www!

2006-08-02T11:52:00.000-04:00

Fashion War: Jeans!

In my part two of the fashion war, I would like to discuss jeans. Jeans come in all kinds of fits now; skinny, bootcut, low rise and curvy. I would like to discuss each fit listed individually.

Skinny Cut

The skinny jean are a slim fit jean, they're not stretched or have elastic in them. They run extra small, and if you get your size and you're not slim they are too small. Even if you are skinny they're still too small. If you want to get skinny jeans, please try them on; and if they no longer look like they're supposed to then you can't buy them.

How to tell they look skinny? If you don't look slim in the jeans, TAKE THEM OFF NOW!!!! Your big ass don't need to wear them, jean isn't stretchable unless they come with some kind of stretch fabric! SKINNY JEANS AREN'T MEANT TO STRETCH! Only size zero to six can wear them, if you're a very slim size zero to six mind you. If are the size of a watermelon, don't try to squeeze into a straw, that's just wrong!

Bootcut

I actually like bootcut jeans, they give me a little bit more room to play with. So, I can't really say anything about boot cut jeans. However, I must say again that you need to get jeans in your size. If you don't know your size, use the nearest dressing room. Grab the size you THINK you are and two sizes up. If they fit you comfortably, meaning you can sit down or do the hookie pokie then they are okay. If you can see your thong, or any part of your ass. . .they are too small, dust yourself off and try again!

Low Rise

WHO IN THE HELL DESIGNED LOW RISE JEANS, AND WHY AREN'T THEY CASTRATED?!!!

I hate low rise jeans, because no one wears them that can wear them. I've only seen models, the ass less and fat girls wear low rise jeans. I've yet come across someone who actually look nice in low rise jeans. Let me break this down further, the low rise wearers need a talking to.

The Ass Less

Apparently the low rise jeans are designed to give a "lift" to the ass less. Well, I don't think the jeans were created by Whodini or David Copperfield. So, if you're expecting have the jean perform an ass magic trick. . .you can forget about it!

I don't care if they low rise or high rise, if you don't have an ass to begin with; jeans won't make one magically appear! Which begs me to ask this question; if a woman (white) thinks that having a big ass means she's fat, then why wear a jean to give you an ass? Isn't that contradictory?

The Fat Girl

Must I say anything? I think so, so here it is. You can not wear low rise jeans and you have more belly than Santa Clause! You should never want to walk around in public with your belly hanging over your belt buckle. You should feel ashamed and embarassed. Why? Because you're not who the jeans are made for!

So before you put your ho ho down and respond, look at your ho ho and your jeans and then think real carefully about what you're going to say. Everything isn't for everyone, if you don't like this post. . .so what! Skinny Jeans and Low Rise jeans aren't for fat people!

Did I hurt your feelings? You hurt mine everytime I see you looking like that! And before you come up with some witty comeback like "If you don't like it don't look" that's like asking me to walk around in the daytime and not see the sun! If you are visible then I'm going to look!

The Jean Model

I know it's your job to show us the jeans and how they are SUPPOSE to fit, however, I would like to ask you if you could put a disclaimer out. Thank you! It could be a simple disclaimer like "Muffin tops need not order or buy".

Last but not least, my favorite jean in the world!

THE CURVY FIT!

I don't know about you, but i love these jeans. I'm a size 4 or 6 (depending on the cut of the jean) and when I got my first pair from Express, I was in love. They fit so nice around my waist and my hinepots!

In case you haven't heard of curvy jeans, let me explain. They are made for women with hips and a backside, they may or may not stretch so I advise trying them on. I only get my jeans from Express, so I tried on the size 6 and they fit so well. My ass was lifted to new heights and i had room for my thighs and my waist.

Depending on the time of the month, I have little to no muffin topage. I recommend these jeans for the curvy women. I'll explain the difference between curvy and obese another time I don't feel like being bothered.

Anyway, I love them! I can't say enough about them. I'm quite bootylicious (which is my theme song by the way! Thanks B!) and so they accentuate my tail just perfectly. They come in boot cut as well, but not skinny or low rise. I don't look for low rise or skinny because I wear neither.

Here are my suggestions for skinny, bootcut, low rise, curvy jeans. So ladies, please take a good long look in a full length mirror and see if any of these apply to you be for you go shopping.

Skinny wearers are: Slim, mostly stick type, thin framed, small to no build; size zero to size 6 thin width

Low Rise wearers are: Slim to medium frame, stick to slightly curvy, small to medium build, have a flat tummy, not prone to muffin tops (menstrual cycles are excluded); size zero to 6, thin to thick width

Curvy wearers are: Medium to slightly large frame, medium to big thighs, medium to thick waisted, have a nice size backside, prone to muffin tops and need coverage; size 4 to 10, thick width

Please wear your jeans according to your body type, not according to the latest fashion!

2006-07-26T13:08:00.000-04:00

WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE GAY, WE BEEN KNEW!

Rosie, Ellen, and now Lance Bass (from N'Sync). What do they all have in common? We knew from day one they were gay, but just realized it three days ago.

Look at Lance's picture, he has that face only a GLAAD member could love. Who wouldn't think Lance is gay, this bama tried to fly out of space!

HE GET HIS EYEBROWS ARCHED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! COME ON PEOPLE.

Why do homosexual celebrities come out the closet, when it's obvious that you're gay? We have all come to accept gay people, well not everyone but that's a different blog.

Anywho, Rosie decided after her talk show tanked that she needed attention. "Humm, how can I get attention? OOOH, I KNOW! Let's tell them I'm gay!" We all watched that special and I know that I, like millions of other Americans were saying, "We were waiting for you to know you're gay. We already knew that since the Flintstones."

We don't care about your sexual status, but I mean if you're twirling and switching it's kind of obvious! It's this one lady at my job, who doesn't even have to say anything. We all know, and I'm sure she knows that we know. Why make a public announcement about it?

Why do you feel that you need to be "happy and liberated" like Lance said by going public about your sexual preference? I'm going to announce the next time I have sex with my boyfriend, hey I'm happy and liberated afterwards, why can't I announce it?

I don't care who you sleep with, I don't care what you do in your personal time. Hell, I barely give a shit about your career! You were N'Sync, the only good thing that came out of that group besides Justin was him dumping Skanky Spears and that damn "Bye Bye" video!

Who are you going to hurt by announcing your gay? You're Lance Bass! Justin Timberlake, Colin Ferrell, damn even Marlon Wayans coming out the closet would have me bent out of shape more than Lance Bass?

Who is Lance? A former singer, in love with a reality star? Did he even have a solo song on airplay? Did he do something other than play second fiddle to JT? Nah, he's just some former star trying to get some attention like the porn chick who used to play on Family Matters.

I mean really, why can't a straight star come out and say, "I am a heterosexual and proud of it"? Why announce to the world you like boys? And more importantly why should we give a damn?

2006-06-29T15:52:00.000-04:00

STAR JONES, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I've been listening for days about this Star Jones madness and it has to stop. She's been whining harder than a spoiled brat, wanting daddy's benz to go shopping. Get off your soapbox honey, and go eat a cheesesteak!

The View has known for months they were going to fire her, and yet they didn't tell her. Barbara WaWa said that it was to "protect" Star, while she was going through several personal matters. One, being her bariatric surgery and the release of her book. While I can appreciate what WaWa was trying to do, the best thing they should have done was tell her they weren't renewing her contract.

You can't keep a "secret" like that for so long without the other person knowing something is going on. Although, Star should have asked; The View should have had a sit down with her at the time they made the decision not to renew her contract. They dropped the ball with that one, and some backlash will occur.

With all that said, I will say this about Star. Her time has come and gone with The View, she has bored American housewives to death. How much more can they take of her referencing her gay ass husband, or her new outfits? She's borderline Kathy Lee Gifford meets Oprah. She has made such a todo about her personal business, but when it comes to her "weight loss success" she wants to be quiet? BITCH PLEASE!

You went under the knife like Al Roker did, and do you see him cowering under the "it's my personal business?" Nope, he's proud about it, he's helped other not be so ashamed of the procedure.

I'm so tired of Star's "bitch and moan" tiraids, and it's getting on my nerves. Star this, Star that. Who the hell cares? You made your money, so go away and do something else. Isn't there a red carpet you and your Velvet Queen need to be on?

Everyone was wrong in this situation, and I'm not sure if The View's going to survive with Rosie on there. It's only so much yelling and loud talk one can take at 11 in the morning. They added a roster to the hen party. . .I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Star, get over it honey. Playing the vicitm will only take you so far. You have better things to do, like realize your husband's gay! Maybe you should stick around and get advice from Rosie!

Oh, and for you ignorant ass black folk. A black out? For Star? You are seriously tripping! There are more pressing issues than Star Jones, now if you're getting paid let me know! If not, go home, let your child listen to "I Was Getting Some Head" and watch "Tip Drill".

2006-06-27T14:12:00.000-04:00

Fashion Mini War: Open toed shoes vs. Inclement Weather

I see it when it’s 40 degrees outside, I believe I saw it during the blizzard of ’96. Now, while we’re in the middle of our own little raining season, I still see them.

Yep, I’m talking about open toed shoes! Why do women wear them and it’s raining buckets of water outside? That’s about as idiotic as an active water fountain in a thunder storm! I see them during the winter for holiday parties, and now while we’re only day three into our seven day raining period (I think this how Seattle must feel) I see crusty, ashy toes.

I just want to know why!

Yes, I know you may say, “It’s 70 degrees outside.” Well, you’re correct it is 70 degrees outside, you win the prize for being smart about the weather! How come you’re not smart enough to know “open toes = wet toes”? Just because it’s hot outside, it’s still wet regardless.

To make it worst, you’re the same folk I see dodging puddles trying not to get your feet wet. Umm. . .you can’t do that today of all days, when dodging puddles is an impossible feat in and of itself.

And if you’re going to have your toes out, GET THEM DONE! Mai Fong can get them polished for you and get the crust off, or get some lotion and try to keep them less ashy! You wonder why your feet look like they’re going to crack and bleed! You have more scales on them than a fat man at a weight loss boot camp!

Jeez, why isn’t common sense, common? You can’t look cute in a pair of shoes that cover your feet up?!

I'm keeping it short, because I know I'll see some dumbass in the winter. Shivering like a scared wet cat, wondering why it's so cold outside! Stop rolling your eyes because I'm talking about you!

2006-06-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

Rainy Monday

It’s raining like cats and dogs outside, it’s wetter than a Superhead porn video. It won’t let up, I swear I saw animals walking in two’s and an arc with spinning rims!

So, at work, I’m alone. Let me explain a bit! My one co-worker had already scheduled the day off to go to the doctor’s and to run some other errands, which was no problem. I understand, we all need to go to the doctor; being a woman, you need to get felt on by your doctor’s at least once a year to make sure the belts and hoses are still working.

My other co-worker, who started in April; called out AGAIN, she was off on Friday because she was too scared to drive. So, today she used the weather as an excuse not to come in. “I got turned around, so I went back home” umm. . .hello, you jackass everyone was getting turned around! SO DID I, AND I CAME TO WORK!

I never wanted anyone to get fired in all my days, but I swear, if I can do it I would tell her ass to “hit the road jack”. I mean really, I would fire her myself! I can’t stand that mess with a passion. I have kids, and never use the fact I have kids as an excuse for anything, but she uses it on a regular. She also live at the end of my county in Maryland, and so it is a hump and a half to get to work. HOWEVER, her ass wanted to live down there; she applied for a two bedroom apartment and they said she wasn’t qualified for the two bedroom so they gave her the one. She didn’t want to take it, because she asked for two bedroom!

HELLO!!!!! IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT AND REALLY NEED IT. . .YOU TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET UNTIL YOU CAN GET WHAT YOU WANT!

As you can tell, I’m beyond pissed. I’m going to try and be civil tomorrow, but since I know how I am, I’ll just be quiet. I hate blogging about work issues, but this takes the cake by far.

I haven’t had the chance to take care of any of the work that’s been piling on my desk because of her Tom Foolery, and I’ve been hearing all kinds of people calling my service line.

Someone spent 20 minutes asking me the same questions, and I’ve had a guy snorting in my ear. That nasty wet snort, just beyond gross! I love rainy Mondays, and I love my job. Today, nah! Ask me tomorrow.

I don’t mind doing the work, I actually like it. However, the thought of her sitting at home watching Maury’s weekly “Baby Daddy/I slept with your third cousin” episode, makes my stomach turn with anger. I wish I could be so “undiligent” and “unfaithful” about my job.

I got up at 5:00 and got in the shower around 5:20 – 5:30 and was down here at 7:00, after I dropped my son off. Traffic was a nightmare, but I still made it in. She made no effort to come in to work. She didn’t want to come into work, and using her location as an excuse. Well, that’s not going to work! AND YOU’RE NEW!

I don't want her talking to me, or apologizing to me. I think I would get up and just walk out, because her ignorant ass isn't worth getting fired for. I wish I could call her and fire her over the phone! Man, I would get Donald Trump with it in a heart beat!

If this was any other time, I would cuss her up one side and down the other. I won't hesitate or break a sweat, but because I value my job. I'll just be quiet the whole day tomorrow. I don't know what my boss is going to do, but this is unnacceptable.

What happen to having pride in your job? What happen to doing what it takes to get the job done? Where the hell are those folk? I guess we're all hired, and now I'm dealing with the scrapings of the employment scrap heap!

I swear if my famous saying: Excuses are reasons for failure, weren't true any other time. . .they are true today!

Yes, I'm truly looking forward to the winter! What excuse will she come up with then?

2006-06-22T14:19:00.000-04:00

Fashion War I

Over the years, I’ve seen my fair share of fashion atrocities committed against man/womankind! We had the painful brasseries, men with their jock straps and tighty whities. Lest we forget the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, gone are the bobby socks, space suits and Aqua Net. The nineties brought about the advent of hats with holes cut out the top for ponytails, baseball shirts and can we not forget the riding boots?

In the new century, I haven’t seen anything that would suggest we are getting better with the fashion and what we chose to wear. Earlier in this decade, I’ve seen something’s that make me want to write to congress and ask them to employ fashion police in every state of the union. I’m an advocate of being different, setting you apart from everyone else.

I also believe in stepping outside the box, but some folk have never stepped into the box, let alone try to get out of it. We’ve seen in this decade, excess. More excess than in the 80’s; no decade can top the 70’s but I believe that this new century can truly compete with the past fashion disasters.

I’ve seen teeny tiny clothes on big whalelephants (across between a whale and an elephant), knowing full well they should have been arrested by security for buying outfits so small we can see every roll and stretch mark on their big asses! I’ve seen colors on people that do not belong. You can’t be, pardon the phrase, Crunchy Black with hazel contacts in your eyes. You weren’t born that way, it’s not original. I take that back, it is original. . .originally ridiculous!

Now, with the invention of hair in every hue possible, I’ve seen blue braids, hot pink braids. A combination of red, white and blue braids, and I believe that half these chicks can’t even tell you how to spell bicentennial; let alone tell you the history of this country. As long as they are different with a “patriotic” flair thrown in, who cares?

I’ve recently seen the short skirts, the ruffle ones that leave just enough fabric to cover your ass. The kind that you see girls constantly pulling down as if some material is going to, well, materialize! I really hate that skirt, as a fashion mistake, it ranks up there with the two side split skirt only the super obese seem to love wearing. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but on the fashion scale it’s a HELL NO on my list.

What happen to being ladylike? Since when did individuality become collateral damage because you want to wear the latest Sean John outfit? Tell the young men to pull their pants up and stop walking around like they have dookie in their pants.

Since when did self respect become an acceptable fashion casualty because you want to look like Melyssa Ford or 50 cent? 50 cent don’t look like 50 cent all the time, find out how he dresses when he’s just plain old Curtis.

Dressing with respect for yourself, and still looking classy with it is a talent that most young teens don’t wish to have. They think it’s nerdish or “old people-ish” because they are trying to give into peer pressure.

When I was their age, I wanted to wear the riding boots with the leggings and baseball shirt. I wanted to wear whatever Mary J., Salt N Peppa, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston were wearing. It’s only natural, but at some point you have to start figuring out who you want to be.

Now even Mariah’s naked! Toni Braxton, uhh. . .next! Mary got abs of steel and even Oprah isn’t looking all grandma-ish (actually that depends on the occasion)!

My great-grandmother told me back when I was in my black stage, heading into my formative years a hoochie dresser, to have some “mystery” because “men love when a woman doesn’t show all she has. It gives him something to look forward to.”

I’ve tried it the “other” way for a while, and realized that she was right (what grandmother is ever wrong, especially the great ones?) and started dressing with some respect and decorum.

Now, I’ve realized that I can dress classy and be sexy. Sexy isn’t the same as tawdry or chickenhead-ish. Cheap, easy, sleazy and skeezy isn’t the way a young woman should dress.

I swear these parents nowadays don’t teach their children anything. And before you start rolling your eyes and neck, saying “I do teach my child, she don’t know me!” Well, if you are EDUCATING your child, I’m NOT talking to you. If you are letting your child dress like it’s perpetually Halloween, because you too dress like your lights were out during the winter solstice; you can get mad, what are you going to do? Change your thinking?

Nope!

Good parents, responsible parents who are raising their kids to be respectable members of society we sometime forget that the way they dress also play a role in their future. Keep the boys pants up with a belt, find white tees that fit them and not look like rolled up bed sheets. Ladies, compliment YOUR frame with clothing and accessories that will make you stand out from the crowd. Kids, put your best foot forward at all times, if you want to be treated as an individual, don’t look like everyone else!

2006-06-05T14:49:00.000-04:00

Oprah vs. Hip hop

Well, there's alot of spectualtion as to whether Ms. Winfrey likes hip hop music or if she doesn't. Now, I don't have billions like O, and let's face it I don't have millions like her either. However, I can't stand TODAY'S hip hop music. I have a new appreciation of the 80's/early 90's hip hop and r&b music, and even though I've honestly gave TODAY'S music a chance; it's not working for me.

I hate it, hate it, hate it. If I like a song from today's music, it has to be more than the standard "EFF THE HOES" "I GOT MONEY, I'LL CAP YOUR ASS". Why can't they talk about something else? They don't have to be all goody tooshoes, but for goodness sakes why are they so limited in what they say?

"Well, if you don't like you can turn off the radio or change the channel" yada yada yada. What about "Self-Destruction" "Paper Thin" "911 Is A Joke" shoot what about "Brooklyn Zoo" and "Now That We've Found Love"? What happen to that music, and why is it relegated to the "old school"?

What's with the bitches and hoes? If Oprah's on her show discussing the marginalization of women, why would she have 50 cent on her show? What can he talk about? If she's trying to help the country track down child molesters and pedophiles, why would she have a rapper on there talking about "effing hoes" and the majority of those listening to the music are young kids?

What sense does that make? I love me some Ludacris, but would you want to spend an hour defending your music to Oprah and the demographics she appeals too? What would you say that would make her feel at least a little more welcoming towards you and your craft? How could you defend your music without being considered a "sell out" to your audience?

On the flip side, she's has Will Smith on her show so what's wrong with Ice Cube? He's done alot more than say "eff the police", he's directed and produced movies and tv shows. She had the cast of "Black/White" on her show, why not the producer?

I won't excuse or agree with any side, because it's not necessarily my place. I would like to point that if Ms. Winfrey will have Will Smith on her show, why not another rapper like Cube or LL Cool J?

Just like if 50 cent and others want to be taken seriously by Oprah, then why not have a valid reason to have an hour of our time. You can't rap on her show, because you'll be bleeped at least 5 times a verse. Have a platform to speak on, something substantial to speak about. Give Oprah a reason for wanting you on her show.

Offer to help her find sex offenders, talk about how you're helping the community. Give something to the audience other than a tour of your latest crib. If your world's empty and shallow, you don't deserve an hour of my time.

2006-06-02T14:51:00.000-04:00

Good Afternoon guys! As the day closes for me, I would like to make somethings clear.

As we all know it's graduation season, and there are some folk who should not be valedictorian or allowed to speak in public. My highlight of the week was the graduation I attended on Wednesday, which was good with the exception of some points.

Just because you have a GPA of 5.25 (or whatever the standard is now) does not necessarily mean you are intellectually smart enough to speak in public. I have never seen such a display of wasted time and the resounding "What the hell are you talking about" come from a group of individuals in my life.

Giving shout outs and talking about your busted car, doesn't allow the audience to whom you are speaking to understand the correlation between heading out into the world and the fact you can't open the passenger side door to your old car.

I got the point that you don't want to depend on a ball player to support you, but the delivery doesn't indicate you plan on going far in your life. If you could have only heard what was coming out of this poor child's mouth was astonishing at best, and I surely don't mean that in the best way. Grant it, she's intelligent on paper.. .but what came out her mouth, didn't prove that point.

I'm not sure who or how someone is elected valedictorian or co-valedictorian (in this case, and why not have a salutatorian as done in my day?), but I'm pretty sure that the standards are low for this particular school. And I've seen better, more well spoken students walk across the stage with a 3.85 GPA.

In my opinion, I believe they need a better system than the one that they currently have because it's obvious it's not working. I propose that they take the top ten achieving students in the graduating class, have them submit an essay on whatever topic the school chooses. 1000 words or less, and whatever the best top two essays are, those are the valedictorian and saluatorian for the graduation class.

They also should spend time on public speaking. Allowing them the opportunity to present their essay to their school, as a test to their public speaking skills. Or shoot offer a Toastmasters class. I'm sure that will work.

Just because you're smart and popular shouldn't guarantee you a spot on stage at the graduation! You have to have the whole package, how can this girl go into the work force and talk the way that she did?

Also, I'm truly bothered by the lack of education and decorum that some folk tend to proudly carry around. My tolerance for ignorance was extremely reaching its zenith on Wednesday, and as much as I wanted to say "Please, go educate yourself", I just kept quiet. Why even bother to say anything, if they are to ignorant to understand that they lack the basic "hometraining" to conduct themselves accordingly when they leave the house?

What is the point in even getting upset? What was I more upset about, the lack of intelligence or upset about the fact that they don't seek to do better for themselves then to be what it is they are?

So here are my "Top 10 Graduation No-No's"

10)Don't give shout outs during your valedictorian speech

9) Don't walk across the stage barefoot (yes someone was barefoot!)

8) Don't keep your head down while you're giving your speech

7) Don't wear a wedding dress or a bridesmaid dress as a graduation gown

6) Don't make references to your busted up hooride during your valedictorian speech

5) Don't come late and start screaming "WHERE SHE AT?"

4) Don't smack your lips during your valedictorian speech.

3) While the principal is giving the proclamation that the students met the requirements to graduate don't yell "THAT'S IT! THEY DON'T WALK ACROSS THE STAGE?!" it's obvious they haven't gotten to that part yet!

2) Don't say "WHOO, I KNOW SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET MARRIED TO CHANGE HER LAST NAME" just because you can't pronounce Thomas!

1) When the emcee say ". . .and last but not least, Mr. Kwesi Mfume" don't say "Who? Is he here?!"

Have a happy weekend!